A post from the vault

PREFACE: This is gonna be another one of those posts where I delve through my My Photos folder and find a bunch of stuff I always meant to post about. Let's call this one...

STARS ON presents....
POLITICAL STARS SING THE CLASSICS!

Track 1:
First up, it's "O Sole Mio" as sung, in English of course because she can't even speak Russian, much less Italian, by Dr. Russian Studies Ferragamo Rice:

But another sun
that’s brighter still
It’s my own sun
that’s in your face!
No, really, I'm that bright,
It’s in your face!
I'm in your face!

Track 2:
Condi sings "Colors of the Wind" from Disney's Pocahontas in a duet with some Russian-looking guy as Captain John Smith:

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim!
---
Indeed I do, I always do, it's like a shoe, an expensive shoe!

Track 3:
"Mr. Grinch" as sung by Mr. Grinch himself:

I'm a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
I really am a heel.
I'm as cuddly as a cactus,
I'm as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.
I'm a bad banana
With a greasy black peel!

Track 4:
"Let the Deficit Soar" as sung by Hanky-Panky Paulson:

Let the deficit soar!
Like it's never soared before!

Track 5:
Another duet! This time we go to Broadway for "One" from A Chorus Line, as sung by Hanky-Panky and Dana Perino!

One... singular sensation,
Every little move Chimp makes.
One... trillion little dollars
Into my good friends' banks!

Track 6:
The '70s classic "Feelings" as sung by the Great Feeler himself, Mr. Ronald "Ketchup is a vegetable!" Reagan:

Feeeeeelings,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, feeeeeeeelliiiiings!
I wish I had some feeeeeelings,
They'll never come again

Track 7:
In a stunning show of his Motown street cred, John McFossil plays the parts of all the Pips (from hell, maybe) in "Midnight Train to the Pharmacy," dedicated to Cindy!

Leavin', leavin',
on that midnight train to euphoria

leavin' on the midnight train to euphoria--- whoo whoo!

Track 8:
Finally, to show you we have some feeling for your gag reflexes, this collection wraps up with the Dalai Lama, soothing you with his rendition of "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands":

Obama's got little bitty babies
On his hands,
He's got repuglican whiners
On his hands
He's got a whole damn minority party
On his hands,
He's gonna crush those dickheaded jerk asshole lying thieves...
In his hands!

Texas recap

Back from Texas, back at work, and back to the freezing cold. All week long in San Antonio, I wore shorts and t-shirts and enjoyed the sunny rays of 80ish-degree days. Sigh. Alas, this morning, my car's thermy read 11 effing degrees. ELEVEN.

I had a great time hangin' with the 'rents and my brother and sisters, ate tons of Mexican food, and saw some vultures gettin' it on. We visited the Alamo and the River Walk, toured and stayed in my parents' new house in a new town, and pretty much goofed off all week. The sun was so bright I had to buy sunglasses!

My parents, who hate Chimpy and all his criminal friends just as much as I do, and I watched Obama's speech, but I couldn't stay up for Bobby Jindleberry's "rebuttal." My parents told me it was a total hoot. So much for "the future of the republican party!" Ha ha -- party's OVER, bitchez!

Karen Zipdrive, whom I met for the first time in person, and I had dinner at a really great restaurant, La Fonda something or other. Two good margaritas and some great spinach enchiladas later, we had coffee at a gay coffeehouse/hangout! WOW--who knew San Antonio was so progressive!? Check her bloggy for full and lurid details! And yes, I really did think she'd be "a lot more profane, crustier and crankier" in person, and NO--she shouldn't change her bloggy style one teeny bit! (And no, she wouldn't let me take a picture!). She even met my mom, who loved her immediately for her flawless Spanish and thus trusted this stranger to bring me back alive and unharmed (mostly).

As much as I missed Niblet and being home with friends, I really didn't want to leave. Who would? Mommy's cooking, jokin' around with the fam, warm temps, and no job to worry about -- it was like heaven!

Still, all good things must come to an end. Here are a few pics:

Mr. Turkey Vulture steppin' fer his future baby-mama

Mary getting Warbler Neck™ (and kinda nauseated) from watching birds through binocs

Me and my cute mommy at the Alamo (photo by my dad)

Me and most of the family (photo by Ricardo Guzman)

Back here at the coalmine, Niblet and I are consulting with a new vet about his ear condition/abcess (dangit! I just remembered I was supposed to call his vet today to actually CONSULT! dangit!). Keep your fingers crossed that it's just a simple surgery and he'll come out okay. I'm confident, because he's just so healthy and happy otherwise, that he'll come through it just fine.

Did I mention I hate flying?

I hate flying. I hate planes, I hate airports, I hate flying. I hate the smell of jet fuel, I hate the germy recycled air in planes, I hate the baggage check. And did I mention I hate flying?

I had to fly, however, to get to San Antonio to see my family. I'm here for a whole week!, basking in the well-above-freezing temperatures, so I thought I'd bring you along. You can see accompanying SA posts on my other blog as well.

Here's a view from waaaay up high:My God, how I hate flying. Somehow, however, I made it through from State College to Detroit, and then Detroit to SA. Ugh. I had to keep telling myself "it's only four flights. Four parts. Two today, and then a whole week before you have to do it again. And you'll see your family!" That, plus two bourbon-and-cokes and a margarita, helped pass the time.

The airport in SA has some crazy stuff:
This tunnel had jungle-y music piped into it, and the walls lit up and pulsed in different colors. I think it was "art."

Here's an idea of what Central Texas looks like as you drive from town to town:
Scenic, no? Honestly, there are prettier parts, but these were taken on I35 between San Antonio and Austin.

Later today, there's some shopping and birding and goofing off to be done. I'll be posting from time to time, and I'll also try to make the rounds and visit you guys. That whole no-blogging-from-work thing really sucks; I miss you all so badly!

Have a good week, wherever you are, and greetings from my native state!

Calling all Central Texas Bloggers!

I'll be in San Antonio/Austin all next week, and I'd love to meet such bloggy heroes as Karen Zipdrive and Freida Bee and any other Texans who'd care to see me in person and share our tales of woe and intrigue. Email me at dguzman1964 at gmail dot com if you'd like to meet up!

Dear Dr. Monkey,

I'm sorry to hear that your erstwhile wife Salma Hayak seems to have married someone else. I like to call this photo "Pasty and Tasty." I thought you'd appreciate that.

I know your little monkey heart is broken, my friend. But take heart--she'll probably dump him in less than a year, like all celebs do!

Obama puts Czar out of work

Hello and Das vadanya to my loyal subject dguzman for allowing me to talk to you all today. This is Czar Nicholas Romanov, of the Ruling Family of Romanovs, circa 1914 Russia. I must tell you that I have been needing a vodka since I heard that your President Obama has denied me my throne! Just when I thought I was at last returning to my rightful place as car czar, President Obama pulls the throne out from under me! Think how wonderful I could’ve been, little potato-eating subjects!

I had already started doing the legwork for the job, talking to the little people! Here I am, Czar Nicholas Romanov, talking with one of the hard workers in an auto plant in Lansing, Michigan. See how effective I was?

And here I am on a used car lot in some little village Illinois, along with my whole family of car-czar relatives!
First the assassinations, and now this. Is there no justice? What will I do now? What work is there in this economy for a czar of any sort?

More cafeteria bloggin', and an idea

I think what I'm going to do to solve this no-blogging-at-my-desk thing is to write up posts at my desk in Word, then send them to my webmail account, then post them once I get to the public use computers here in the Fucked-Up Nooz Channel Cafeteria! Featuring NASCAR today! Thrilling!

Sorry, but I can't hear myself think with the roar of the engines and all the twanging in the background.

Future posts coming--I promise! Exciting ones!

Cafeteria bloggin'

So I'm stuck blogging in the work cafeteria for now, as I heard a rumor that our desktops were being monitored for non-work-related internets usage.... Not me! Never me!

I'm sitting here in Faux Nooz hell, too -- listening to some "fair and balanced" "expert" ragging on Tim Geithner for supposedly not staying up late enough to get the details worked out on how the stimulus money will be spent. "THAT'S A BAD FOOTBALL TEAM," he's spewing. Funny how they never criticized the morons and thieves of the Bush administration for their bald-faced robbery and clusterfuck of the last eight years. Good lord, now they're wondering WHY these repugs DARED to vote for the stimulus. God, I HATE this channel. "John McCain, who is very prone to cutting deals with democrats.... SENATOR Obama" this idiotic pundit they have on now just called OUR PRESIDENT a "senator!" Can't they all be sent to Gitmo for that?

Meanwhile, life is okay. We've had mild temps and some rain rather than snow--thrilling! Bring on the spring!

I really had nothing more gripping to say today, and whatever thoughts I did have were blown out of my brain by the mind-numbing stupidity of Faux Nooz. I gotta get internets at home.

the one in which I take a break from politics

It's been getting harder and harder for me to post about politics on this blog, or even to make the usual rounds of all my snarky pals' blogs, lately. Even as I've realized that I might (just might!) be starting to come out of my winter blahs (which have been fucking BRUTAL this year), and as I've started to get all excited about birding again--which makes me ever so happy--it seems like reading about the same-old same-old happening in Washington just gets me down again.

We make logical arguments about the stimulus package, about the direction our country needs to go, and still the repubs act like THEY are in charge -- and the dems let them. President Obama adds a bunch of corporate giveaways to his stimulus plan, and STILL the repugs complain. We're still letting the Rush Limpdicks and Bitch McConnells of the world dominate the discussion.

Why?

I guess there are a million answers to that question--but any of those answers will just depress me. The fact is that I'm exhausted. I'm sick of politics. I'm so sick of it that even making fun of it isn't fun anymore. The outrage is just too much for me.

Maybe I'm just lazy--my guy's at the helm now, after all, so why not just trust him to do the right things? Of course, that's no foregone conclusion, though--cases in point: Why are we still in Iraq? What's going on with Gitmo and all the secret torture camps? What's with the (alleged) threat to the Brits to keep quiet about our torture of prisoners?

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: you might see more posts on this blog, but they will be few and far between and they probably won't be about politics. They'll be about other things I think about. I changed the name of this blog because I am no longer for impeachment; instead, I'm dreaming of prosecution of the Bush Administration, and I'm dreaming of an Obama Administration that can and will make changes for the better in this country.

So don't be surprised if my posts are a little less political and a little more personal or just "other." Hope that's okay.

Obama gets tough on bailout execs

(h/t to Yankee Pot Roast for this graphic, which I changed a little)I always hated the idea of a salary cap in sports, because all it meant was that the rich teams were going to overpay for the big stars and everyone else would get screwed. The whole idea OF a "cap" was just a sham, as was clear when ARod got $150 million bucks to play baseball--but somehow that was still okay under the "salary cap." (that was just around the time I started boycotting baseball)

However, Pres O announced today a set of rules for the banking institutions who've taken bailout money, the first of which is a salary cap of $500K for execs of these institutions. It's about fucking time! Call me a commie or a fascist or whatever, but I've always believed that NO ONE should make more than, say, a million a year for ANY job, period. Paying more than that creates an environment where companies HAVE to raise prices, or cut employees, or cut production, or move overseas simply to "stay competitive." If they weren't giving such a huge amount of money out to top execs (or top players, etc.), they'd certainly find it easier to maintain profitability, no? Besides--unless you're maybe finding a cure for cancer or saving lives or solving our energy problems--does ANYONE really deserve that much money? Just for a job?

Should anyone make more money than the president? I don't think so. Certainly not these pigs-in-suits on Wall Street, who've turned the stock market into nothing more than an entirely fake system of fake wealth. They manufactured "money" out of air with their hedge funds and other "creative" accounting and created a system of financial bullshit. So when the economy went into the shitter because these people had made bad loans and bad decisions, yet still profited greatly from them, I wasn't that surprised. When you build a house out of bullshit, you've got to expect that it's gonna dissolve when a good rain hits it; otherwise, you're either stupid or you just don't care what happens when the rain comes.

It remains to be seen how these new rules will be enforced. Will Citibank still get to spend millions on the naming rights to the new Mets stadium, despite having taken bailout money? Will the asswipes at Wells-Fargo still take their big Vegas Vacation? (turns out, the answer is no on that one) Will these execs' paychecks really shrink down to $19230.76 (my calculation of 500K divided by 26 weeks for bi-weekly pay, before taxes--ha ha, as if they pay taxes!)?

What are the odds?

How the greedy blood-sucking half lives

So Exxon's earnings were down this quarter, yet they still managed to break the record for earnings by an American company--their own record, that is, set the last time they fucked us over for a whole solid year--in 2008 with $45.2 BILLION in profits.

cartoon ©Ed Fischer

This for the company that gave us a drunken oil-tanker captain, a huge oil spill in Alaska, and insurmountable credit card bills for all of us just trying to buy enough gas to get to work and back.

They're really suffering, too! No really!

Irving, Texas-based Exxon said net income slid sharply to $7.8 billion, or $1.55 a share, in the October-December period. That compared with $11.7 billion, or $2.13 a share, in the same period a year ago, when Exxon set a U.S. record for quarterly profit. It has since topped that mark twice, first in last year's second quarter and then with earnings of $14.83 billion in the third quarter. Revenue in the most-recent quarter fell 27 percent to $84.7 billion.

Both the per-share and revenue results topped Wall Street forecasts. On average, analysts expected the company to earn $1.45 a share in the latest quarter on revenue of $69.1 billion, according to Thomson Reuters.

Shares rose $1.52, or 2 percent, to $78.52 in early trading. (my emphases)

Yeah, life really sucks when you don't make quite as much stinkin' blood money as the last time you posted record blood-money profits, and when even your "sharp" decline is STILL better than what those fucking vultures on Wall Street forecasted.

How is this kind of thing legal, as many of us lose money and jobs? Guess there really are two systems of justice: one for the people who are allowed to just keep on chugging, raping the environment and getting financial (and literal?) blowjobs from our oh-so-willing government, and one for the rest of us.

. . . . . . . . . .

In other news, Prez O yelled at the filthy corrupt parasites on Wall Street who, despite their tales of woe and misery and bailout billions, managed to give out over $18 billion (collectively) to their loser-idiot execs last year. That's $18 billion of OUR money, folks. Sen. Chris Dodd says he'll be "demanding" that the aiders and abettors at the Treasure Dept get the money back; I'll be neglecting to hold my breath while waiting for that to happen.

. . . . . . . . . .

Down in the Land o' Lincoln, Blago the Hair God is OUT.Despite his full-court-press media tour to proclaim he's as innocent and heroic as everyone from Gandhi to Jesus, the Illinois state congress tossed his ass out of their government. Good riddance, you amoral freak.

. . . . . . . . . .

And finally--speaking of the filthy and the rich, the 400 wealthiest Americans saw their income jump to an average of $263 million. That's an increase of 23% over the previous year. Wanna know the best part?

"The top 400 paid just more than $18 billion in federal income taxes in 2006, or an average of $45 million, on a record $105 billion in total income — the lowest effective tax rate in the 15 years since the [I.R.S.] began releasing such data." (my emphasis)

Nice to know the tax system is about as "fair and balanced" as Faux Nooz.

And who are these filthy rich? you might well ask. Predictably, the top ten list includes Bill Gates, a quartet of Walmart Waltons (but NOT John Boy, Mary Ellen, Erin, or Jim Bob), a Buffett (not Jimmy), and a Bloomberg (Hello New York!).

Another day in paradise. For them, anyway.

If you think YOU'RE having a bad day

...take a look (if you haven't seen it already) at this classic clip of the angriest man in the universe trying to film a commercial for the "Mini Winnie" Winnebago vehicle. (here's a screen cap and the link--I don't know how to embed videos)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugRGU2n7aQ8

I first saw the entire video (not just the hilarious strings of cussing but more of his actual lines mixed in with his flubs and colorful language) way back in 2000 or so, and it was always one of my favorite things. For some reason, I thought of it today and I found this edited version on the yootoobs.

So whenever you're having a bad day, one of those days when you feel like you can't do anything right -- just watch this guy, Jack Rebney, and remember that at least you're not him.

P.S. I myself am having a bad day. Long story, but I suppose at least it's not work-related.

Quick thoughts on a cold morning

Boy, what a whirlwind of exec signing statements our new prez has been been generating! Closing Gitmo in a year, opening up government docs to the FOIA once again, and pretty much undoing some of the crap of the former administration (I'm not going to use THAT NAME again!). It's good to know that Prez O isn't pulling a Bill Clinton and choking back on campaign promises right off that bat.

If you still don't believe the planet's getting hotter, peep this. Good thing I'm not moving to the coast of California, or I'd soon be needing some hip waders.

Caroline Kennedy's decided not to try to replace shiny new Sec of State Hillary Clinton. I have to admit it was kind-of a stretch, given her lack of experience in politics, but it would've been cool to have two Kennedys in government again. Still, I don't blame her for not wanting to get into that mess.

Sarah Palin refuses to shut the hell up. Her problem? She still thinks the media did her in, rather than her own stupidity and ignorance. Look in the mirror and listen to yourself, sweetie--then say "goodnight."

Oscar™ nominations are out! I haven't seen ANY of the movies in contention for any of the awards, but I'll offer my predictions (on the big awards) anyway based on my vast and far-reaching knowledge of The Academy's ways.

BEST PICTURE--First, no way Milk wins. The Academy doesn't like teh gay. I doubt they'd pick a Brad Pitt film for a serious award, and Slumdog Millionaire is too popular. They'll go with Frost/Nixon; mark my words. But I wish they'd choose Milk; I hear it's fantastic.

BEST ACTOR--A tough choice here; Langella's old and The Academy loves to give old guys the big gold. Mickey Rourke is already being over-hyped, so I doubt he'll win. Sean Penn has pissed off too many people in his life, but the words "Brad Pitt" and "Best Actor" should NEVER be uttered in the same sentence unless it's followed by a hearty guffaw. I'm going with Langella, who will look stunning in his tux and be very gracious at the ceremony.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR--I really hope they do the posthumous thing and give Heath Ledger this award. The guy fuckin' ROCKED in The Dark Knight.

BEST ACTRESS--Wouldn't it be wild if Anne Hathaway beat out the likes of Winslet and Streep? I don't see Streep taking this one, because they're already doing the sentimental pick with Langella, and Angelina Jolie will win another Oscar when hell freezes over. Who the hell is Melissa Leo? I see this one as a battle between the tested and incredibly sexy Kate Winslet and little Anne Hathaway. It's hard for me to say this, but what the hell--I'm going with Hathaway. She'll be the wild pick this year.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS--I love love love Amy Adams in everything she's in, from the beauty-queen-turned-exotic-dancer in Drop Dead Gorgeous, to troubled-generic-character on a "Charmed" episode I've long since forgotten, to put-upon-but-can-do-it-all aide in Charlie Wilson's War. I would love to see her get this award because the girl has paid her dues.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE--Good god, I hate modern animated films. Let me just close my eyes... WALL-E! Who cares?! They're cartoons, created solely for money and to give computer nerds something "creative" to do when they can't break into the tough world of comic books! (I don't know anything at all about the worlds and/or businesses of computer animation or comic books; I just hate computer-animated films.)

Welcome to the new America, fellow citizens!

No matter how bad it gets over the next four years, it's still gonna be great because the bushes are no longer in Washington.

The next time I mention that cursed name, I just hope it's in connection with a prison sentence.

And I give Darth Cheney's cyborg innards another day or so before he creaks and groans one last time and then breaks down, a machine well past its usefulness or warranty. Put him on the scrap heap of history as just another obsolete piece of junk.

Random stuff

1. My car just hit 30K miles. I'm pretty sure this means I need to do some sort of "routine" maintenance. Will the smart people of the world please tell me what that might entail? Thanks.

2. I should've realized when Niblet jumped on my clothes I'd spread out on the bed for work this morning that it was a mistake leaving him alone. I took a shower, came back in the bedroom to dress, and didn't really notice anything amiss until I got to work:Yes, he nibbled little holes in my pants. On the ass part! (No, I never iron, so they're all wrinkly from sitting.) Look at that big hole by my pocket! Sheesh. You can see my dark-blue-plaid boxies under there! Dammit, bunny!

Things I'm blatantly ignoring today

with the assistance of my lovely cashmere hat from enc at observationmode.

1. Bush's "passionate" sniveling drivel of insincere revisionist bullshit, because The Great Helen Thomas has his number--and it's ZERO.

2. writing about the genocidal war on Gaza by Israel, because The Great Bill Moyers has the ultimate piece on it

3. Ben "Hanky-Panky" Bernanke's claims that we need MORE bank bailouts despite the fact that no one will tell us where the other bailout money went

4. that whole Russia-Ukraine energy for Europe thing, because I don't know what the hell is going on over there (besides the fact that Russia is run by former KGB mobsters)

5. that rumbling in my tummy

...because I needed cheering up

...I went to Go Fug Yourself, which is always good for a hysterical laugh. I won't comment on fashion or whatever--I mean, I wear SHORTS to work and call it "business casual" because I pair it with the inimitable golf shirt. Still, I must comment on these "separated at birth" candidates:

I. Drew Barrymore's hairdo at the Golden Globes and Drop Dead Gorgeous finalists Molly Howard's and Michelle Johnson's uber-bouffants:

Drew the other night

the beauty queens

So what is up with that boof? Did she, as GFY suggests, have sex in the limo? With how many people?


II. Glenn Close (whom I LOVE--really--it pains me to do this) at the Globes and Helen "Broadway doesn't go for boooooze and dope!" Lawson in Valley of the Dolls.

Glenn at the Globes

Helen about to have the big fight with Neely O'Hara (definitely click on the yootoob link)

Oh dear--I just realized: there's also this potential triplet:

Glenn. Honey. Never do that again.

Just another reason...

...I voted for Driftglass. Nobody does it better, folks.

As these reichwing fascist nutjobs on Faux Nooz and other such media outlets continue to allow (and abet) the BushCo Revisionist History Project, I shake my head and keep on blogging for another day. (My meager efforts make little difference in the big scheme of things, but at least I have some place to vent.)

Still, it frightens the piss out of me to think that an asscrack like Brit Hume can say things like this and basically go unchallenged. (h/t to Driftglass for that link) Hell, look at the front page of Media Matters and you see nothing but wingnuts lying on TV for fun and profit.

How low can they go? How much history can they rewrite? Will anyone--besides bloggers--ever call them on it? If there's one trend I've noticed since Bush took office and started his grand fucking of the globe, it's this one:
1. politician and/or "journalist" pretty much lies right to us
2. blogosphere goes nuts
3. politician and/or "journalist" keeps his/her job, continues to lie right in our faces

I'm reminded of a post I did a while back, where I expressed my feeling that there are two levels of reality in this modern world, two universes---one in which those in power operate and get rich, and another in which all of us regular people toil and pay for everything that those in the other universe do. We see them, we get screwed by them, we cry out--but they don't even know we exist.

Will it ever change? Are we hurtling toward the future Orwell predicted? Can we believe anything we hear or read in the mainstream media?

In other random-thought news, I've been noticing with continued disgust and disappointment that it's getting harder and harder to listen to NPR these days. I noticed it a lot during the election and it's just gotten worse. Then today, I found this blog on Liberality's 'groll, NPR Check. Just started reading it, but soooo much of the ranting I've been doing when I have listened to NPR is echoed on this site. Makes me feel like I'm not the only one who's noticed that people like Steve Innskeep and the rest of the Morning Edition crew are just shills for Bush and the reich, though they're not as in-your-face about it as Faux Nooz.

Perhaps that's how they kept their government funding; who knows?

Anyway--as I said, I haven't read a lot of the posts on NPR Check, but if you too have noticed the shift to the right on NPR, give it a read.

The census data is out!

I know: statistical excitement! Still, there are some interesting pages to view in the 2009 Statistical Abstract.

Here's a table looking at "Money Income of Households—Percent Distribution by Income
Level, Race, and Hispanic Origin, in Constant (2006) Dollars: 1980 to 2006." Note the median income in dollars during this period:

1980 - $41,258. Wow, that's pretty decent for 28 years ago. (When you break it down by race, you see a mostly sad story: White=$43,527, Black=$25,076, Hispanic=$31,802, and Asian/Pacific Islander=$57,500.)

1990 - $44,778. The median went up only 3520 bucks during the Reagan/BushI decade. Thanks, you bastards.

2000 - $49,163. A couple years of Poppy Bush, then eight years of Bill Clinton and an increase of 4385 bucks. Better than the hell years of Reagan, but not that much better. Still, we didn't know how lucky we were.

2005 - $47,845. What's that? A DROP during the miracle of the Bush Economy? I can't believe it! The best part is that we're not even dealing with a decade; in the five years between 2000 and 2005, the median household income dropped $1318. Wow.

2006 - $48,201. The median still hasn't even caught up to 2000 levels. Heckuva job, Chimpy.

As mathematics and statistics tend to cause my mind to congeal into a cement-like state, I'm only looking at this one table. I imagine geniuses like Matty Boy and Distributorcap will be knockin' 'em out of the park with all these numbers. They likez da numberz.

16 Things you don't know 'bout me

Beth Coffey at Cup of Coffey tagged me on Facebook to do this meme, listing 16 things you don't know about me. The task is a little daunting, but I'll give it a whirl.

1. I don't have a middle name; neither does my brother or two of my sisters. Only the youngest, Nora (Aida), has a middle name. My parents have never explained this.

2. I have always been a Dallas Cowboys fan, although I loved Super Joe Montana and often rooted for the Niners to win (unless they were playing the Cowboys).

3. The name of my college cover band was "The Score."

4. My favorite newspaper comic is "Mutts."

5. I am apparently (I've been told) a very private person and reveal very little about my thoughts and emotions, preferring instead to ask questions of and learn more about other people. It's not that I won't tell you about myself; I just would rather answer questions than think up stuff about myself, so just ask if you want to know.

6. I've been a vegetarian for almost seven years, mostly because I love farm animals and don't like to think of hurting them just so I can eat. I also do it for environmental and political reasons.

7. I like birds and nature. (I'm throwing this one in as the "Duh!" parallel of the obvious #1 that Beth used.)

8. I lived in Texas my whole life before moving to PA in 2003, and I always thought I'd never leave -- until I left. Now I hope never to live there again, as I've discovered that other places are more beautiful and offer more opportunities. When I move to California, I'll be singing, "Two girls for every... girl!"

9. I have no biological clock. Even back when I was young and thought I'd marry and have kids, I always figured I'd adopt. I just have no desire to bring more babies into the world or "experience the miracle of childbirth," or whatever -- not when there are so many babies out there up for adoption. (But I'll likely never adopt; I'm too old now.)

10. I love love love the Harry Potter books, and I've read each of them at least ten times. In fact, I usually re-read books I like.

11. I love love love "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (the TV series), and I own the Chosen Collection, thanks to Matty. I watch at least one episode six out of seven nights a week. Yeah, I love it that much. Matty and I find some new bit of Joss Whedon genius or trivia almost every time we watch. The latest: I realized last night that the vampire Sandy, whom Riley meets and eventually allows to bite him in Season 5 (when he's being an over-the-top emo moron), is actually the same character and actress that Vampire Willow sired in "Doppelgangland" (Season 3). Sadly, though, I just googled and found out I'm not the only one who noticed this stunning little bit of Joss Whedon magic. Still--Matty hadn't caught that one yet!

12. I'm a woodworker. I love to build useful stuff like shelves, tables, etc.

13. When Matty and I move to California, the first thing we'll do after we've put Niblet in the house is drive to the beach. I love the beach!

14. I try to learn new things as often as I can, whether it's just something I read in the paper or a new job skill or whatever. A day without learning is a day wasted, at least for me.

15. The easiest way to get me to open up is ask me what kind of work environment I enjoy. (Step back.)

16. (oh man, I didn't think I'd make it to 16!) I didn't think I'd make it to 16! Kidding. Um... I'm trying to lose at least 20 lbs before we move to California.

Done! Okay, all you introspective people who are looking for something to blog about--drop and gimme 16!

Check out my head!

I was so happy to receive a cashmere hat from enc at observationmode! Here's what I had to do to win. Thanks, enc! It's soooooo warm.

Um, why are my eyes different sizes? And wow, what's with the bags underneath them? Holy shit. I guess I should be happy I'm not more wrinkly, but that's just because I'm so pudgy. Hmph.

Here's my pal Niki, getting all happy because the hat is soooo soft:

New year, new bloggy header

As discussed previously, the header for this blog has changed to "...other dreams" (though the URL remains the same), because Nancy Pelosi and the other chicken dems in Congress can't seem to show any regard for our laws, our Constitution, or international law. The War Criminal in Chief is still in office for a few more weeks, and all we can hope for is the appointment of a special prosecutor (preferably Patrick Fitzgerald) to charge him and his buddy Darth Cheney with war crimes, treason, lying to the American people, illegal invasion and occupation of a sovereign nation, and whatever the hell else you want to add to the indictment. I'm thinking "grand theft" should also be thrown in, as he and his pals have fleeced us out of billions.

Until then, we'll keep dreaming here at the bloggy. You do the same.

End-of-year blowout on quick hits!

As this topsy-turvy year grinds to its end, I thought I'd leave you with a few quick hits to ponder:

Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Utah is the fastest-growing state. We can only hope that the influx consists of normal people flocking in there to water-down the freak element of all those crazy asshole Mormons concentrated in one place.

More challenges to Bush's last-minute bullshit
The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence is asking a court to stop the implementation of a Bush law that allows guns in national parks, including the place in Philly where they have the Liberty Bell--a place that isn't out in nature somewhere but right in the city. The Bush law is set to go into effect on January 9, 2009.
Also under this banner, the state of California is suing to stop Bush's changes to the Endangered Species Act. Way to go, my future home!

Goin' out in a blaze of ... stupid
As if we needed more proof that Rod Blagojevich is a ballsy jerk, Blago's gone and appointed the replacement for the Senate seat vacated by incoming president and world-saver Barack Obama. Senate dems are refusing to seat Burris, and Obama has panned the move as well. I wonder what Burris promised to do for Blago in exchange for the appointment.

It's not irony when it's expected
It turns out that the people who were in charge as the financial meltdown occurred aren't being punished or stripped of their billions or told they'll never work in that field again. Those kinds of things only happen to us regular people. Nope, many of these criminals are pretty much living just as they were before their sins exploded in a fire like a trillion blazing suns. Color me... not the least fucking bit surprised.

More on the inaugural invocation and beyond
Wisconsin's Freedom From Religion Foundation is suing to stop the invocation/benediction at inaugural and the "so help me God" phrase in Obama's oath of office. This would certainly short-circuit any more talk about whether that asscrack Rick Warren should or shouldn't be giving the invocation, but my guess is that the theocracy will win out and the suit will be unsuccessful. Remember how crazy everyone got when people started complaining about the "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, despite the fact that it wasn't in the original? Sadly, I see this one going the same way.

Meh humbug

WARNING: HUGE potential for what might be construed as whining in this post. Be thee warned.

image from here

It seems like each year, the holiday known as Christmas gets a little less exciting for me. I'm not the only one; WhiskeyMarie was feeling a little "meh" as well. I have several theories to explain why xmas just doesn't hold the same joy and excitement as it did even a few years ago; maybe writing them out and hearing your thoughts will help me find some answers.

1. the lack of xmas magic--Once big brother Ricardo and big sister Raquel had both married and started having their own kids, they started saying, "Christmas is for the kids!" all the time. Kid sisters Mary and Nora and I thought they were just being cheap; xmas is for everyone! Family and friends and xmas magic! Santa! Then R&R started talking about the dreaded "draw names" approach to gift-giving, which Mary and Nora and I reasoned was what one does at work, not with family! It just seems so cold. M, N, and I still wanted presents all around, even little ones! No one had to spend a bundle or anything; who doesn't enjoy a cool framed photo or a handmade present? The little sisters and I were able to resist the drawing of names for several years, but as the families grew we got out-voted. We've been drawing names for at least ten years now, and I guess I'm okay with it (it IS cheaper, which is good when you're poor like me but still takes the magic out of it). Still--it's not the same. I can't get over the associations with work and other non-family gift exchanges; it just takes the magic out of it for me.

2. not being "home" with the family--This one really hit home this year, as I was stuck in PA without my blood family and without my Kat-and-Em family for the first time in six xmases. I ended up spending a few hours with my friend Joche (JOSH-ee) and her sister and grandma, and we had a great time eating good food, drinking, and lying around in our sweats watching "Law and Order." Still, I really missed my own family, and once I went home, I was kinda lonely and bummed. I didn't do a tree or decorations because it just seemed kinda silly, and I sat around and watched Harry Potter movies and Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes. Not very xmas-y. I'm sure Mom and Dad and the siblings were watching "A Christmas Story" and laughing their asses off, with the smell of pine all around. *sniff!*

3. being older/atheist/cynical--This might be a big one, or it might not. I haven't been a church-going religious person for a LONG time, so I know it's not the absence of the baby jeebus or anything churchy that makes me sad. But now that I'm older, I do tend to think about the financial side of xmas (again with the lack of xmas magic). Also, now that I'm such a pragmatic adult, I always want practical gifts. We all used to groan as kids when we'd get socks or panties; now that I'm older, I LOVE socks and boxers as gifts. That's fewer socks and boxers I have to buy for myself! Is that pathetic? Is it just old-crabby-person talk? Maybe Christmas really IS for the kids--the ones who ask for toys and believe in Santa and wanna sing "Rudolph" all day long. For the adult me, it seems like I could pick any old day to give or get cool gifts--preferably a day right after payday--and I sure wouldn't have every damned radio station playing nothing but xmas songs on that day, that's for sure. Maybe I'm just too old or cynical to enjoy xmas.

4. the over-commercialization/Walmartization of Christmas--Four out of the six radio stations I listen to decided to play xmas music 24/7 this year, starting at Thanxgiving--this really chapped my ass. I don't mind the occasional Mel Torme's "The Christmas Song," or the Chipmunks' xmas song, or even the Carpenters' "Merry Christmas, Darling," as long as it's interspersed with normal programming. Instead, my ears are bombarded with "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" followed by some fake cowboy in a hat twanging his way through "Silent Night" followed by Celine Dion's over-the-top singing of -- well, anything she sings is over the top. Give me Adam Sandler's Hannukah Song followed by some classic rock, NOT one jeebus song after another with some hillbillies singing "The Twelve Days of Redneck Christmas" mixed in (I made that song up--but I'd be willing to take bets that there is something like it out there.) And xmas TV is no better, with constant ads showing adults giving each other cars or jewelry (in what universe!?) and cute kids getting sweatshop-labor-made crap from Walmart. Can't we just watch that "Law and Order" marathon in peace? Can't we go a day without hearing about doorbusters and Black Friday and xmas songs?

* * * *

I don't know. Maybe it's the winter blues, or the fact that I only had one friend in town this year for xmas, that made me write this post. But I know that each year, xmas gets a little less special for me.

Is the same true for you?

More laundromat fun

For the first time evah, I decided to give the extra-large washer a try at the laundromat. (I didn't go to Laundry World this time, though; I went to LAUNDRY. That's all the sign said: LAUNDRY. No photos--sorry.)

First, I amused myself by taking this photo:

That one's for you, Dr. Monkey!

Then I started loading a ton of white clothing and sheets and stuff into the thing. I really crammed it in there, probably three loads' worth for only $3.50. After I shut the vapor-lock and battened down the hatch and fastened the safety belts and everything else on this little Fort Knox-ian vault, I noticed this sign:

TWIST OFF ARMS!? Holy shit!

And for those of you in Old Mexico or La España:

You can imagine my hesitancy to open the door and take my laundry out.

Because amputation is amputacion, no matter what language you're speaking.

Holiday lights winners!

So DCup, SomeGuy, Liberality, Dean Wormer, Barbara Bruederlin, and relatively new commenter Snave guessed correctly that photo #2 was NOT holiday lights:
No one guessed what it really was, though Snave gave it a good try.

It's my dashboard lights, taken while I moved my phone side to side rapidly. While driving. Tee hee!

Randal gave the most creative answer, saying that photo #1 was a "flying Arc de Triomphe." That crazy Frenchie-lover.

Holiday lights quiz!

Guess which one of these photos, taken as I sped through the neighborhood, is NOT actually of Christmas lights!

Good luck! I'll be offline until Friday. Until then, have a happy few days of whatever labeling you prefer!

Secret Santa 2009! Merry holiday, XUP!

I was Secret Santa for the Ex-Urban Pedestrian, whose blog I discovered a while back while looking through the blogroll of Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein. Here's what I got for XUP.

First, as XUP is from Canada, I thought I'd give her a little taste of the official footware of my home state:

Next, for those wild parties, here's a set of recycled magazine-page coasters:

Finally, I asked the Dalai Lama to send XUP and her native Canada some good vibes, and he was kind enough to say "Take off, hoser!" That Dalai Lama's such a kidder.

I hope you liked your presents, XUP, and I hope your holidays--however you celebrate them--are a ton o' fun!

Thanks to Dr. Zaius and his evil hench-wench Germaine Gregarious for coming up with the bloggy Secret Santa idea!

Adding insult to insult

First, I read that Obama has defended the choice of Rick Warren to give the invocation at the inauguration. Yeah, let's not be "disagreeable" just because we "disagree." By that logic, of course, we could ask Hitler to be up there on the steps with Obama--because even though Obama would (presumably, anyway) disagree with Hitler's ideas about race and heritage, hey--we wouldn't want to be disagreeable! or partisan! Oh no -- can't have that!

Then today, I read this item about how 66 of the countries in the United Nations supported a UN declaration decriminalizing homosexuality. The French put forth the "declaration" when they realized they didn't have the votes for a "resolution"--good for them.

Was the U.S. one of those 66, you ask? Why, of course not! President Chimpy would never support equal rights for all Amurkans, much less people all over the world! According to the Times article, "The United States refused to support the nonbinding measure, as did Russia, China, the Roman Catholic Church and members of the Organization of the Islamic Conference." It's so good to know we're voting with those progressive "human-rights-first!" outfits like Russia (which is as we speak returning to totalitarianism) and China. Oh, and we're on the same side at Pope Ratzy (who just loves teh gays!) and an Islamic group (those guys love... to stone us gays in the streets).

Yeah, we're really setting the standard for enlightened and tolerant social policy here: "opponents [of the declaration] criticized it as an attempt to legitimize pedophilia and other 'deplorable acts.''' Because all we gays are pedophiles and deviants! Hide your children!

Many people have blogged about how disappointed they are that Obama would support Warren's giving the invocation. When I read about it, however, I realized it was just another in the long line of disappointments and betrayals we gays have endured from democratic presidents. Back in the 1992 election, Bill Clinton wooed us with his promises of overturning the military ban on gays. What happened once he got into the White House? "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Thanks for the kick in the nuts, Bill!

Now, after gays supported Obama (even though many of us never believed he was as tolerant of us as others claimed) and helped get him elected, he throws this shit in our faces and tells us not to complain, to be agreeable.

Once again, thanks for the kick in the nuts, Mr. President.

So NOW can we put them on trial?

Now that Bush and Cheney have admitted in several interviews that they lied and tortured, that they're not ashamed of having lied and tortured, and that if they had it to all over again they'd just lie and torture again--

NOW can we begin the impeachment proceedings?

NOW can we charge them with war crimes?

NOW can we have justice?

If not now, WHEN?