Thursday, March 26, 2009


Help Bubs' daughter win the Fangoria Spooksmodel contest! Remember all those crazy posts Bubs has done about his daughter's obsession with gory halloween stuff? This is her big chance!

VOTE, people, vote!

Besides, as Bubs so accurately points out, those other bitchez look like porn stars. Help that sweet clean young Bubsy-daughter win!

Friday, March 20, 2009

The kindness of bloggy pals

Have to show you the wonderful surprise I received in the mail the other day:

the card promised good things, what with the little swallows on it:

and the box was sweet too!

and look what I found inside!

The charming and wonderful Beth Coffey of Cup of Coffey, well aware of my love of birds, sent me this cute and oh-so-cool pendant and chain! I love it! It looks like a bluebird, pensive, pondering the mysteries of spring as he searches for the right partner to make his nest with.

That Coffey--she's a sweet one. Thank you so much, Beth! Sending you the bloggy love!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Biden shows McFossil some love!

Who says Joey the Veep doesn't feel bad for Johnny Walnuts McFossil? Look what Joe announced today:

The Recovery Act provides $65 million for congregate nutrition services provided at senior centers and other community sites, $32 million for home delivered nutrition services delivered to frail elders at home and $3 million for Native American nutrition programs. The funding will be awarded to 56 states and territories and 246 tribes and Native Hawaiian organizations. States will award the funds to organizations that provide nutrition services in their communities. Funding for nutrition programs for seniors in the Older Americans Act was initially authored and championed by Senator Edward M. Kennedy.

See? He really DOES care about old people who aren't rich, just like McFossil. So don't worry, America--he'll have plenty for his diapers and his Ensure drink.And maybe he can finally get those teeth fixed.

Dammit, dammit, dammit

Rest in peace, Natasha Richardson. My heart goes out to the family. What a heart-breaking loss.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Idiot Pope says condoms "increase the problem" of HIV infection

AP/ Jens Meyer

It seems Pope Ratzy is still promoting the dangerous Catholic policy against condoms in the fight against the spread of HIV. The worst part is that not only is he saying that condoms are bad, but that they "increase the problem"--which is an outright falsehood.

A Reuters report quotes the idiot as saying, "It (AIDS) cannot be overcome by the distribution of condoms. On the contrary, they increase the problem." And how exactly does that happen? How is that even possible? Condoms stop the exchange of bodily fluids in which the virus is carried. DUH. Explain to me how they "increase the problem," Ratzy, because I think you're a big fat liar.
Rather than rely on, oh I don't know, SCIENCE, logic, and all the evidence that proves condoms work to help prevent the spread of HIV, the idiot pope cites this brilliant strategery* instead:

"The only solution is two-fold: the first is a humanisation of sexuality, a human, spiritual renewal which brings with it a new way of behaving among people and, secondly, a true friendship, especially for those who are suffering, a willingness to make personal sacrifices," he said.

He called for "correct behaviour regarding one's body".

Yeah. That's is. Correct behavior. (Like those child-molesting priests?) Because Catholicism teaches people all about healthy sexuality, doesn't it?

This position is irresponsible and dangerous. It's like sanctioning murder to deny condoms to people who can and will have sex. If he truly values life, he should preach that whatever saves life--whether it's abstinence or condoms--is a good thing.

*-that one's for you, BeckEye!

Natasha Richardson, wife of Liam Neeson, dead at 45?

Nothing on the googles yet, but according to some smarmy British reporter on Faux Nooz and the Faux Nooz web site, Natasha Richardson has been declared "brain dead" after suffering injuries in a skiing accident in Canada and will be taken home to New York, where they'll take her off life support.

Wow. According to reports,
A spokeswoman for the Mont Tremblant ski resort said Richardson, 45, was conscious and showed no signs of a serious head injury after she fell on a beginner run on Monday while in the company of an experienced instructor.
Lyne Lortie said the Tony-award-winning actress was in the middle of the private lesson when she suffered what appeared to be a relatively unspectacular fall.
While Richardson seemed fine, the ski patrol wanted to take a closer look so she was taken to the bottom of the hill by sled, Lortie said.
“She showed really no visible sign of injury and she was talking and showed absolutely no sign of confusion,” she said.
“It was right in the middle of the slope so she didn’t hit anyone or a tree. It was a fall as anyone can do. It wasn’t a violent fall at all.”

Must've been internal hemorrhaging. Wow. This is really sad. She did a lot of fundraising for HIV/AIDS research, and I always thought she was a talented actress. Poor Liam Neeson.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Some words I'd be thrilled never to hear again

1. Pork/Pork barrel
2. Earmarks
3. Republican
4. Rush Limbaugh
5. Michael Steele
6. Mike Huckabee
7. 9/11
8. (insert republican's name)
9. Bailout
10. Ponzi scheme

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Happy Adopt-an-Actor Day!

Splotchy's community outreach program to the stars, Adopt an Actor, has been a traditional holiday stretching back lo these many years. Today, in celebration, I'd like to bring a new little one into my home.

Beginning to Bird, my birding blog, has benefitted from the august and sincere presence of Alan Rickman and Hugo Weaving, while this bloggy has enjoyed watching Rachel Weisz grow up. But Rachel's been lonely, playing in the sandbox and on the see-saw alone. (you wouldn't believe how hard it is to see-saw alone.)

So--in an effort to both celebrate today's holiday and make my Rachel happy, I'd like to welcome the delicious Ali Larter, fabulous and winsome star of Heroes, to the bloggy!

What do you say, Ali?
"I say I'm gonna kick some ass and look hot while doing it!"


Thursday, March 05, 2009

John Yoo is a fucking psycho

If you don't believe me, read this.

And the same goes for Chimpy and all his enablers.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

A post from the vault

PREFACE: This is gonna be another one of those posts where I delve through my My Photos folder and find a bunch of stuff I always meant to post about. Let's call this one...

STARS ON presents....

Track 1:
First up, it's "O Sole Mio" as sung, in English of course because she can't even speak Russian, much less Italian, by Dr. Russian Studies Ferragamo Rice:
But another sun
that’s brighter still
It’s my own sun
that’s in your face!
No, really, I'm that bright,
It’s in your face!
I'm in your face!

Track 2:
Condi sings "Colors of the Wind" from Disney's Pocahontas in a duet with some Russian-looking guy as Captain John Smith:

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim!
Indeed I do, I always do, it's like a shoe, an expensive shoe!

Track 3:
"Mr. Grinch" as sung by Mr. Grinch himself:
I'm a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
I really am a heel.
I'm as cuddly as a cactus,
I'm as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.
I'm a bad banana
With a greasy black peel!

Track 4:
"Let the Deficit Soar" as sung by Hanky-Panky Paulson:
Let the deficit soar!
Like it's never soared before!

Track 5:
Another duet! This time we go to Broadway for "One" from A Chorus Line, as sung by Hanky-Panky and Dana Perino!

One... singular sensation,
Every little move Chimp makes.
One... trillion little dollars
Into my good friends' banks!

Track 6:
The '70s classic "Feelings" as sung by the Great Feeler himself, Mr. Ronald "Ketchup is a vegetable!" Reagan:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, feeeeeeeelliiiiings!
I wish I had some feeeeeelings,
They'll never come again

Track 7:
In a stunning show of his Motown street cred, John McFossil plays the parts of all the Pips (from hell, maybe) in "Midnight Train to the Pharmacy," dedicated to Cindy!
Leavin', leavin',
on that midnight train to euphoria
leavin' on the midnight train to euphoria--- whoo whoo!

Track 8:
Finally, to show you we have some feeling for your gag reflexes, this collection wraps up with the Dalai Lama, soothing you with his rendition of "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands":
Obama's got little bitty babies
On his hands,
He's got repuglican whiners
On his hands
He's got a whole damn minority party
On his hands,
He's gonna crush those dickheaded jerk asshole lying thieves...
In his hands!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Texas recap

Back from Texas, back at work, and back to the freezing cold. All week long in San Antonio, I wore shorts and t-shirts and enjoyed the sunny rays of 80ish-degree days. Sigh. Alas, this morning, my car's thermy read 11 effing degrees. ELEVEN.

I had a great time hangin' with the 'rents and my brother and sisters, ate tons of Mexican food, and saw some vultures gettin' it on. We visited the Alamo and the River Walk, toured and stayed in my parents' new house in a new town, and pretty much goofed off all week. The sun was so bright I had to buy sunglasses!

My parents, who hate Chimpy and all his criminal friends just as much as I do, and I watched Obama's speech, but I couldn't stay up for Bobby Jindleberry's "rebuttal." My parents told me it was a total hoot. So much for "the future of the republican party!" Ha ha -- party's OVER, bitchez!

Karen Zipdrive, whom I met for the first time in person, and I had dinner at a really great restaurant, La Fonda something or other. Two good margaritas and some great spinach enchiladas later, we had coffee at a gay coffeehouse/hangout! WOW--who knew San Antonio was so progressive!? Check her bloggy for full and lurid details! And yes, I really did think she'd be "a lot more profane, crustier and crankier" in person, and NO--she shouldn't change her bloggy style one teeny bit! (And no, she wouldn't let me take a picture!). She even met my mom, who loved her immediately for her flawless Spanish and thus trusted this stranger to bring me back alive and unharmed (mostly).

As much as I missed Niblet and being home with friends, I really didn't want to leave. Who would? Mommy's cooking, jokin' around with the fam, warm temps, and no job to worry about -- it was like heaven!

Still, all good things must come to an end. Here are a few pics:

Mr. Turkey Vulture steppin' fer his future baby-mama

Mary getting Warbler Neck™ (and kinda nauseated) from watching birds through binocs

Me and my cute mommy at the Alamo (photo by my dad)

Me and most of the family (photo by Ricardo Guzman)

Back here at the coalmine, Niblet and I are consulting with a new vet about his ear condition/abcess (dangit! I just remembered I was supposed to call his vet today to actually CONSULT! dangit!). Keep your fingers crossed that it's just a simple surgery and he'll come out okay. I'm confident, because he's just so healthy and happy otherwise, that he'll come through it just fine.