Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Moron-palooza: coming soon to an alternate reality near you

I saw a billboard for this "event" while driving home from Cape May on Sunday. Don't you wanna go? I mean, look at all the cool kids who go:

See? They have (counterclockwise from left) cute jock-looking guys, cute punky-looking chicks, serious and normal-looking (and still cute) girls, cute and kinda gay-looking but CERTAINLY NOT GAY! boys, and cool cute chicks in shades! I'm sure this is an absolutely random sampling of the cool kids who want you to come and talk about Jeebus and be cool with them!

And check out the oh-so-cool bands, full of hip and creative people!
Sooooo moody and cool! And I think that might be a born-again George Michael, third pic down! Wow!

You too can spread the word about Creationism and how AWESOME it is to be all Jeebus-y and stuff! And remember: "Plan on joining us. It will be the highlight of your summer, maybe your life! ™"


Randal Graves said...

If I didn't obviously need new spectacles, I'd swear that these über-Jesusians were all just a wee bit metrosexual. And we all know what that means, snort snort.

Matthew Hubbard said...

The serious girl with the digital camera. I can believe the Jeebus girls go with the funny haircuts, but when they start letting in Flora Birch from Ghost World, the Decline and Fall of Christian America is a done deal.

Sorghum Crow said...

I'll go if I can afford the fuel for my dinosaur.

Unknown said...

LMAO Sorghum Crow!

I have to say, I have a little sista that listens to all those religious bands. She sends me their cd's. She is not an uber Biblethumper, but our brother is..

Boy oh boy, he fits the extremist profile so well it scares the shit out of all of us.

But my Gawd-loving little sista is a good hearted Christian..there are still a few of those thank Jeebus. ;)

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It's hell on earth!

GETkristiLOVE said...

Of course Jars of Clay, of course. George Michael tho'...? I guess the word isn't out in Jeebusland.

Anonymous said...

Something tells me there are many, many things that aren't "out" in Jesusland.

Fran said...

For for fucks sake, what a mess. I came home with the urge to write about creation (NOT creationism!) and this was buzzkill city. Not your fault.

It makes me ill.

Pissed in NYC said...

I want the condom concession. Because the economy sucks and I want to be able to finally buy my own effing apartment, that's why.

dguzman said...

Randal--what in the world do you mean?????? (wink)


SCrow--hee hee

Dusty--my little sister does too, but she IS a freak. We all hoped it was just a phase, but it's lasted over ten years. She still thinks the rest of my family is going to hell.


GKL--I'm sure the resemblance is purely coincidental!



PiNY--you NEED your own apt! But I'm sure ALL these kids have signed those oh-so-effective virginity pledges, so no condoms necessary!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Woo! How can I get tickets to Dudstock?

dguzman said...

Karen--if you don't already have them, it's obvious that you'll be LEFT BEHIND when the Rapture comes! So sorry! (but I think there'll be some good stuff just left out there unguarded for all us heathens, so there's always that!)

Jess Wundrun said...

Will there be a tent for bad acid trips?

Just Wondering.

lisahgolden said...

I can feel us all devolving right now.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I don't know how to thank you for this! And to think I may have missed the show!

Freida Bee said...

I hear Mel Gibson is hosting; it's gonna be rad and whatnot! The original Lethal Weapon... was Jeebus, after all.

dguzman said...

Jess--let's hope so, but I doubt it. Just one for lemonade hangovers.

Lisa--hee hee.

Barbara--glad to help

Frieda--SWEET! "they may take our lives, but they will nevah take... our Jeebus!!"

Dean Wormer said...

It would be so cool if they accidentally booked that faux Christian comedian group that was on Last Comic Standing last season.