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Meet McFossil's running mate! UPDATED, even!

Highlights (gleaned from Wikipedia mostly)
--Finished second in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant. Damned grizzlies win it every time.
--Degree in journalism, minor in politics. Ds get degrees!
--Hubby is a "champion snowmobiler." What a stud!
--Pro-life for unborns, pro-death for adult convicts. That's consistency for you.
--Anti-gay marriage. but I have gay friends! Of course they're gonna burn in hell because of their sins but I love 'em anyway!
--"signed into law a $6.6 billion operating budget—the largest in Alaska's history." Ah, another fiscally conservative money-waster! Nice to see she's up on how repugs run things.
--has no stated positions on much of anything that matters to the future of our country. But hey! She's pro-life!

UPDATED! She's also for teaching creationism in schools. I've been whirling through the Intertubes all damned day trying to figure out what idiocy could've possessed McFossil and his trainers, but I still can't figure it out. Is he that stupid or that cynical? Judging from what I've read of her repub credentials of big oil, big bidness, and big jesus, she's apparently a fine young repuglican -- but really, is this the person ANYONE would choose to run the country when McFossil keels over after a few months in office? I hate to say "game over" and buy the first round, but sweet jaysus, are Amurkans REALLY stupid enough to vote for this guy and his little granddaughter?

A historic night

Could Obama have been any better last night? I don't think there was a dry eye in that entire convention center. What a moment.

Not to mention that the guy's got great skin.

Your thoughts on Bill and John

So what did everyone think of Bill Clinton's speech last night? I happened to be in the car and heard it on NPR. Wish I had thought to have it on when Hillary spoke the other night, but oh well. I'd also like to have heard Michelle Obama.

I also heard some of John Kerry's speech. Was anyone energized by him?

Revelatory: Away from the body politic, to the body personal

Might as well catch you up on what's going here at IaOD. I'll do it by the numbers, like Scott Jagow (sp?) does on Marketplace. (Cue "Stormy Weather.")

1. Kat and I are no longer together. The short version of the story is "Space." She needs it--lots of it--so I gave it to her. I've been getting a TON of love and support from my pals, both in-person and from my pals on the Intertubes, and it's really made this whole thing so much more bearable. Surprisingly, I'm not falling apart. Don't really know what that's about, actually. I have some tough moments, but there's so much going on my life that's positive and fulfilling--and though it's kind of weird to think of it like this, the whole "kicked outta my house" thing has really highlighted those positive things. Weird, huh? Who knows what the future holds, but I've always lived my life knowing that things will work out for the best. So--things'll work out for the best, you know?

2. I dropped that Chemistry class I was registered for. It was just going to be way too much to handle right now. I wasn't really emotionally or scholastically prepared for it, so I'm waiting until the spring to take Chem 110 along with Chem 108, which is a class you can take simultaneously where you learn what the hell they're talking about in Chem 110.

3. I've just gotten my own car for the first time in five years (Kat and I shared a Saturn Ion, which she's keeping). It's a used 2008 Pontiac G6, and it's all jacked up with all kinds of extras and James Bond shit. There's a button you press to tell you how many miles you can go on the gas currently in your tank, what the pressure is in each of your tires, and the temperature outside. It's awesome, in that "I'm driving Daddy's fancy car!" way. Never would've bought anything like it new, but I got a great deal on a slightly used one. It's nice to have my own wheels again. That's a big relief.

4. I hope to be moving into an apartment in this neat little city near my work, Bellefonte. There's a big park in the middle of town with all kinds of ducks and trout and stuff in it--I love to go there and feed them. I'll be a few blocks away from the park--assuming this apartment is up to snuff. I'm looking at it on Saturday, and I hope to move my stuff in on Sunday. Then I'm going to go out with my newly graduated pal Matty (that's Dr. Gaaaaayyyyy to you), and we're gonna get trashed. Then, sometime after the calendar turns to the wee hours of the morning of September 1, I'm going to stay in my new apartment! (my landlady said I couldn't stay there in until the lease starts, but I could move some stuff in on Sunday--a good compromise, in my mind)

Obviously, I've let myself ramble on a bit, if I'm telling you the intimate details of my Sunday night stealth move-in scheme. So I'll leave you with this bit of ICHC nom-iness:

Smile tho' your heart is aching,

Smile even tho' it's breaking,

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by,
If you smile thro' your fear and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow,

You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you
Light up your face with gladness,

Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness,

Al -'tho a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time,

You must keep on trying,

Smile, what's the use of crying,

You'll find that life is still worth-while,
If you just smile...

--Charles Chaplin

Understatement of the century

"Please don't eat me, Mr. Cheney!"

While tooling around the interwebs in my SeriesOfTubesMobile this morning, I encountered this gem in a Wall Street Journal piece discussing what Joe Biden can bring to the White House as VP:

We've seen over the past eight years with Richard Cheney how a smart, aggressive and experienced vice president who is respected by the president can have a major impact on our lives.

Let's forget the mooning dreamy-eyed description of a "smart, aggressive and experienced" Darth Cheney for a moment. Has there ever been a bigger understatement made in print? I mean, unless someone's said something like "Jesus kinda influenced history a little" or something, THIS has to be the understatement of the century. Big Dick and His Pet Chimp have altered the very fabric of this democracy for decades to come. The damage they've done to the inner workings of this government, to the reputation of this nation, to the Middle East--to name just a few of their many goat-fucks--is immeasurable. Historians will look back on this as the beginning of very dark times for the US, perhaps the beginning of the end of America as we know it.

We have indeed seen how a dark Sith lord can insert himself into a position of power and, through his own morally corrupt influence and raw lust for power and wealth, can fashion a legacy of tortured prisoners, surveilled citizens, and insurmountable debt. Yeah. We've seen it.

Bush-Quayle redux?

Are republicans really stupid enough to consider Rick "Gays=Man-on-dog sex!" Santorum as a VP candidate? Of course Rush is stupid enough--and high enough--to consider it. But real voters? Santorum couldn't even win reelection to his senate seat. There's NO WAY he's going to pull Pennsylvania into the red column; everyone with a brain in this state considers Santorum a stupid prick.

Speaking of my keystone state, what's with all the Pennsylvania VP talk? Tom Ridge? Has-been. Prick Santorum? Idiot.

Let's hope Obama picks someone like Biden who can pull some real support. He may not be squeaky clean, but the guy's got guts. I like him.

A picture says a thousand words...

...or Why Sebellius will not be Obama's running mate

A picture does indeed say a thousand words, and there's one picture that would say a thousand (or more) very UNKIND words in this bigotted country:
Imagine the uproar in KKK territory if Mr. Black Man and Ms. White Woman appear like this on a consistent basis. Imagine what the Rovian repugs will do to stir up the bigotry against the uppity black guy who presumes to take a white woman by the hand.

If you think the repugs are cranking out the "fear the black man!" at a high rate now, just imagine what would happen if this team appeared on the dem ticket.

But goddamn, don't they look great together!? I'm sad that this thought even crossed my mind, but as I was driving to work the other day, I thought about Obama and Sebellius, standing together in that co-champions/hands-in-the-air way, and it hit me--as I drove through my rural Pennsylvania valley.

What do you think will happen? Is it going to be Joe Biden? Tim Kaine (whoever he is)? Sebellius?

Because it must be repeated for effect!

reposted with a huge h/t to Princess Sparkle Pony, the blogger who first caught my eye and showed me the wonders of Matty Boy, FranSheIs, and KarenZipdrive via their insanely hilarious comments.
Oh, those crazy Ossetians over near that other Georgia! Whoever made this sign needs to start his/her own blog to showcase those phenomenal PhotoShopping skee-ulz!

The CondiDo-into-CondiMullet is an extra-fabulous touch! It's almost realistic enough to raise the Hairdo Alert to Fiascotastic!

And to avoid the possible lawsuits and stuff, here's the original AP caption and photo credit: "Ossetian protesters demonstrate outside NATO headquarters in Brussels, Tuesday Aug. 19, 2008. U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and her NATO counterparts are reviewing relations with Moscow and are expected to curtail high level meetings and military cooperation with Russia if it does not abandon crucial positions across Georgia. (AP Photo/Geert Vanden Wijngaert)"

Oh yes, by all means, "curtail" your bigtime meetings with those nogoodniks! They'll come crawling back to us, screaming their regrets over this global "my bad!" in no time!

Now THAT'S diplomacy!

Ask your doctor about...

courtesy of www.sarcasma.net

Sometimes, even while on a break from the madness, you just gotta post.

No long explanations, but I'm taking a break from the political for a while. You can find me at my bird bloggy, thinking the positive thots.

A cereal box as food for thought

Honest Abe

There must be a name for people who love to read so much that they even read the backs of the cereal boxes as they eat their morning bowl of Life or Cocoa Puffs or Wheaties whatever. I am one of these people, and this past weekend I found some great reading material on the back of my box of Giant® brand Corn Flakes.

The box read "Know Your Presidents" and had a bunch of trivia questions about cities named for presidents (i.e. Lincoln, NE, etc.), and a quotations section. Most of the quotations were pretty easy, well known to those who've taken even a junior high history class: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" (FDR) and "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" (JFK). One of them was familiar because so many people have been referring to it during our long national nightmare of Emperor Chimpy's imperial rule: "Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the President." Good one, Teddy!
TR also said, "I will not lie, cheat or steal, nor tolerate those who do." Perhaps he didn't lie, cheat, or steal--but he was one of the first global imperialist presidents, so I don't much trust him as our leader. I'm sure he probably was a good guy, though.

One quotation in the quiz, however, was new to me:

I pray heaven to bestow the best blessings on this house and all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof.

John Adams said this about the White House in 1800, when he and his wife were the first First Couple to move in. The fact that he used the word "men"--we'll gloss over that. Sexism is to be expected of a man in 1800. Let's look instead at the last line:

May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof.

My mind reels when I think of these simple but important standards for the people who've served as president. Honest men? Hmm... Lincoln? Eisenhower? I can't really think of anyone else I'd regard as "honest," though I'll admit I'm only thinking of the last few presidents. I admire FDR and JFK, but I believe that neither was truly an honest man; Roosevelt may have known about Pearl Harbor but allegedly chose to let it happen so he'd have a causus belli. JFK's personal life was filled with dishonesty, if tales of his womanizing are true.

I think of the presidents who've served while I've been alive: LBJ, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush. Wow. Not exactly a bunch of Honest Abes--the only one I'd call honest in that bunch is Carter. And you see what it got him.
I guess honesty isn't exactly a presidential characteristic anymore, assuming it ever was.

The second standard Adams prayed for was to have a wise man. Now we're really going to have a short list! I'd call Carter wise, though I don't think he always displayed that wisdom during his term. JFK was a wise man, I think, keeping his head and pulling us back from the brink of nuclear war. He was a man of thought before action. And of course Lincoln--arguably the best president we ever had--was a wise and honest man who kept this nation whole through its greatest crisis up until that time. Could a Nixon have done that? Or even an FDR? (I'd bet on FDR before Nixon, though--who wouldn't?)

But can any of us label any of these other clowns as "wise?" All you history buffs out there--put on your history caps and tell me: have we had any "honest and wise" presidents during your lifetime?

More importantly, is there any chance of ever getting an honest and wise president in the future? Certainly, McCain is nothing close to honest or wise; his changes of position and willingness to do or say whatever it takes to get elected pretty much disqualify him from being anything other than a parasitic lifeform, barely even human.


Obama has a great intellect, and he seems fairly honest--but he's shown once that he will vote against the people and for the big corporations when the chips are down.

Will we ever get a Lincoln or an Eisenhower again? Given the idiots we've elected (or who we've let steal elections), do we even deserve one? Would we know one if we saw him or her?

Oh man... shit.

Alexandr Solzhenitzyn has died.

Friday funny pictures

Kitteh parents, do the responsible thing with your kittehs!

I'm voting for this cat:

This is just so true:

Dr. Monkey sent me this sweet little bunny drawing from one of his crazy old magazines he's always scanning:

And Niblet just reminded me to tell you that if you're trying to find the freshest monkey available, look here. Whether because of Blogger code goatfuck or some neocon-troll-nogoodnik, Monkey can't post on his regular blog.

Them's all the funny pitchers Ah got.

The latest from the McFossil camp

photo shamelessly stolen from Hasty Brook

Now look here, my friends. I want to talk about issues, dammit! Like my issue with Obama and his uppity ways! Talking to those Krauts like he was the king of the fuckin' world! What an asshole!

I'm the one who's been all over the world! And all my time in 'Nam gave me a lot of foreign policy experience, my friends! Did I mention I am crippled because I fought those bastards the whole time? That's right, my friends--I fought them. And now I can't come my own hair (and if you tell me it's thinning on top, you stupid cunt, I'll bash you right into next week!).

Thank you, my friends!