Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Oprah launching her own TV network

It'll be called OWN--the Oprah Winfrey Network. Personally, I can't imagine what the hell she'll show for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but hey--whatevah.

Imagine if others followed suit:

GWBTV--Chimpy's post wrecking-of-America gig. Highlights of Chimpy's broadcast schedule: Green Acres, Bonanza, and daily updates of brush-clearing status in Crawford (thanks to Olberman via Newsbusters for this pic):
(By the way, see Chimpy's resume at Karen Zipdrive's -- it's really impressive when you stack up all the different shit he's fecked up. It reads like a rap sheet, but unfortunately Speaker Botox is too busy lobbying for higher-end food in the Congressional cafeteria (h/t Christopher at From the Left) to worry about such insignificant matters as our Constitution, our future as a democracy, and the lives of innocent men and women in our armed services and in all the countries we're occupying/waging war against.)

CHENEYVISION: Completely black screen, 24/7/365. If you watch for even a millisecond, expect some big guys in suits and mirror-shades to pound on your door in three... two... one...
CONDI-TV: Pretty much looks like OWN, only it's the multi-UNtalented Condi trying to do all the shows, and we have to hear her mediocre piano playing.

JEEBUS-TV: Pat Robertson gets his own network and spews venomous and completely insane statements like "(T)he feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians" . . . oh wait . . .

14 comments:

GETkristiLOVE said...

Don't forget to tune in for Mama's Family on GWBTV.

Randal Graves said...

And Dick's version of Survivor. Live, and you don't get shot in the face. Or eaten for dinner.

FranIAm said...

There is a reason I left the media business at the end of 2007...

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Dosen't Oprah already have a freakin' network?

Dr. Zaius said...

She supposedly didn't have much to do with the creation of the Oxygen network, or at least that's her latest story, Dr. Monkerstein.

Any channel that is not owned by Rupert Murdoch is OK by me.

dguzman said...

GKL--that's frightening. I think we saw an episode of that show on distributorcap's blog a while back, no?

Randal--I think that's actually "live, and you WILL get eaten for dinner."

Fran--think what you're missing!

Dr. M--yeah, I thought it was LIFETIME. Oh--no, wait, Zaius says it's Oxygen. I didn't even know she had anything to do with that. You simians know everything. Thanks, Dr. Z!

Mary Ellen said...

I can't stand Oprah...another reason not to watch TV. If it weren't for Keith Olbermann, I wouldn't even turn the damn thing on anymore.

vikkitikkitavi said...

While I have plenty of problems with Pelosi, I also have no problem with any role she had in the congressional food services using greener containers, and serving better quality and organic produce and other foods. That whole story's a little trumped up if you ask me.

Mary Ellen said...

If Condi had her own show she certainly wouldn't be lacking in commercials for shoes.

dguzman said...

Vikkitik--I don't have a problem with her greening efforts, but I do have a problem with the fact that she's willing to do that (and take the PR hit) but not to follow the law and the Constitution and impeach the administration who are all in blatant violation of that law and that Constitution. But yeah--good for her for going greener and organic.

ME--no kidding--there would be a whole show just on spike heels vs wide heels, etc.

FranIAm said...

Condi's show- Foreign Policy for Ferragamo!

Distributorcap said...

I am sure Oprah will fill the time up very easily -- after all this is a woman who is on the cover of EVERY edition of "o" magazine

i dont dislike oprah, i am just sick of oprah. i am sure Time Warner will find a place for OWN (please please please please take of f/x, Fox News, Fox Sports, Fox Business to find a home for opes)

maybe Rosie will get her own network too. ROD-TV

Mauigirl said...

Good post! ;-)

DCap, good suggestion to substitute OWN for one of those Fox fiascos.

dguzman said...

Fran--yup--Shoes for Every Photo Op! Tuesday nights at 7.

DCap and Maui--great idea--dump FOX.