Friday, January 11, 2008

Irony, thy name is Associated Press

"Okay, now, heh heh, which one-a you guys has the marshmallers?"

OH. FRANIAM'S. GOD. I'm so glad that Chimpy McStagger is here to decide these critical matters of policy in such a timely fashion! He's such a caring guy! So protective! So pensive and deliberate! In case you missed this, we ought to laugh at it together:

Bush: US should have acted on Auschwitz
By ARON HELLER, Associated Press Writer

JERUSALEM - A teary-eyed President Bush stopped in front of an aerial photo of Auschwitz on Friday at Israel's Holocaust memorial and said the U.S. should have sent bombers to prevent the extermination of Jews there.

Yad Vashem's chairman, Avner Shalev, quoted Bush as saying the U.S. should have "bombed it." Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Bush referred to the train tracks leading to Auschwitz, not the camp itself, where between 1.1 million and 1.5 million people were killed by Nazi Germany. . . .

Bush twice had tears in his eyes during an hour-long tour of the museum, said Shalev, who guided Bush through the exhibits.

Upon viewing an aerial shot of Auschwitz, taken during the war by U.S. forces, he said Bush called the decision not to bomb it "complex." He then called over Rice to discuss President Franklin D. Roosevelt's decision, clearly pondering the options before rendering an opinion of his own, Shalev told The Associated Press.

Shalev quoted Bush as asking Rice, "Why didn't Roosevelt bomb it?" He said Rice and Bush discussed the matter further and then the president delivered his verdict.

"We should have bombed it," Shalev, speaking in Hebrew, quoted Bush as saying.

First off, who the hell wrote that hedline? Bush said "BOMB," not "act on;" it's not like he stood there and figured out how his Special Forces were going to go into the camp, take out the nazis, and rescue the Jews. "Just bomb 'em! It worked for Eye-rack!"

Next, after having to endure the idea of a "teary-eyed" Chimpy, we see MommySister Lecondel step in to clarify to (I'm sure) dumbfounded reporters that, of course! duh! he meant bomb the train tracks, NOT the actual camp! Of course! He would never bomb innocent civilians!

I'm sure Chimpy and Condi had a very meaningful policy discussion over whether they would bomb innocent Jews who'd already been held captive, starved, and worked almost to their deaths by the Third Reich. Then, after these leaders of the Fourth Reich settled that policy point, I'm guessing they tried to decide whether to sign the Treaty of Versailles... you know, it's just. so. COMPLEX!

I love the idea of Chimpy calling any decision "complex." Isn't EVERY decision "complex" to a booze-and-cocaine-fried guy who doesn't have two brain cells left to rub together? I picture him standing in front of the fridge in the White House at night: "Uh--Pickles? Hey! Ah'm trying to decide whether Ah want ice cream or cookies fer dessert--it's just so complex! Ah shore wish Turdblossom wuz here to help! Hey you, Condi, sister! Come on over here, Brown Sugar, and help me decide 'cause Ah'm the decider!"

Just look at the "journalism" happening in this excerpt, though -- "then the president delivered his verdict." Either Aron Heller's got one wicked sense of humor, or he's a fucking idiot. Almost every treatment I saw talked about how he was "admitting US error" or whatever. As if figuring out that the nazis were doing some evil shit, fifty-plus years after the fact, makes him a fucking genius? You make the call. I need to go be sick now.

9 comments:

Mauigirl said...

Um, didn't we try to do something about Auschwitz? Like win World War II?

I am mystified as to what he meant by such a stupid remark....

Randal Graves said...

And once again, the press never mentions the fact that good ole Prescott loved him some Nazi.

I'm not that big on the sins of the father being passed down, but given 41 and Dubya, I think an exception is warranted.

Mary Ellen said...

I wonder how long it took Bush to practice the tearing up thing?

Everything is complex to Bush, that's why it took him so long to finish My Pet Goat. He wasn't going to let a few planes flying into the twin towers to stop him from finding out how it ended!

dguzman said...

Mauigirl--yeah, well, Mr. Revisionist History Guy obviously thinks that wasn't quite enough.

Randal--that whole family is from the devil.

ME--no kidding. The only time he'd really cry is if Pickles took his booze away. And remember--he had a hard time with My Pet Goat, especially since he was holding it upside down....

FranIAm said...

Prescott Bush was a character. A raging out of control alcoholic.

On the other hand he was an early pioneer for the organization that would become (the target of his grandson's wrath) Planned Parenthood.

He also stood up to Joe McCarthy- I guess being a drunk had its upsides.

So far so good, right? Oh and civil rights. When his son 41 was down in the heart of Texas dicking around and not wantging civil rights, Prescott fought for it.

However... The whole family's money was tied up with Nazi no-good during WWII which is what makes this so entirely completely fucked fuckety fuck fucked up.

sorry for all the fuckery it just makes me so so so so so angry.

LET'S TALK said...

January just can't come soon enought for this guy!

Distributorcap said...

i left a whole tirade about bush's auschwitz comment at dependable renegade.

prescott bush would have licked hitlers left nut to get more money. but then again as fran said, he help establish planned parenthood.

about the allies bombing auschwitz (and the rail lines) -- there is actually a whole debate about that. by 1944 churchill and roosevelt knew what was going on there. jewish resistance leaders asked them to bomb the lines and camps -- they refused. it is much more complicated than my simple sentence. (this might be a whole post)

i am surprised chimpy even knew what auschwitz was - i am sure condi had to tell him. (ok george name another death camp?) worse is that the people of israel are welcoming this fucker as a 'hero' and that he signed his name at the yad vashem book -- now that gives me chills

Mary Ellen said...


prescott bush would have licked hitlers left nut to get more money. but then again as fran said, he help establish planned parenthood.


A lot of fucking good that did, we still ended up with Georgie. If mama Bab's had used some birth control, we wouldn't be in this mess.

dguzman said...

Fran and Dcap--I guess even an evil squirrel finds a nut sometimes. Still, as Nunly said, if Babs the Impaler had only taken the pill, we wouldn't be in the shit we're in right now. And Dcap--oh my goodness, what a vivid image: "would've licked Hitler's left nut." Wow.

I really do not understand our relationship with Israel; why do they even accept us (and WHY THE FUCK did they let Chimpy wear a yarmulke!?) after so many people made their fortunes through the nazis? Are they just now licking OUR left nut for money and power? I really don't understand.