Irony, thy name is Associated Press

"Okay, now, heh heh, which one-a you guys has the marshmallers?"

OH. FRANIAM'S. GOD. I'm so glad that Chimpy McStagger is here to decide these critical matters of policy in such a timely fashion! He's such a caring guy! So protective! So pensive and deliberate! In case you missed this, we ought to laugh at it together:

Bush: US should have acted on Auschwitz
By ARON HELLER, Associated Press Writer

JERUSALEM - A teary-eyed President Bush stopped in front of an aerial photo of Auschwitz on Friday at Israel's Holocaust memorial and said the U.S. should have sent bombers to prevent the extermination of Jews there.

Yad Vashem's chairman, Avner Shalev, quoted Bush as saying the U.S. should have "bombed it." Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Bush referred to the train tracks leading to Auschwitz, not the camp itself, where between 1.1 million and 1.5 million people were killed by Nazi Germany. . . .

Bush twice had tears in his eyes during an hour-long tour of the museum, said Shalev, who guided Bush through the exhibits.

Upon viewing an aerial shot of Auschwitz, taken during the war by U.S. forces, he said Bush called the decision not to bomb it "complex." He then called over Rice to discuss President Franklin D. Roosevelt's decision, clearly pondering the options before rendering an opinion of his own, Shalev told The Associated Press.

Shalev quoted Bush as asking Rice, "Why didn't Roosevelt bomb it?" He said Rice and Bush discussed the matter further and then the president delivered his verdict.

"We should have bombed it," Shalev, speaking in Hebrew, quoted Bush as saying.

First off, who the hell wrote that hedline? Bush said "BOMB," not "act on;" it's not like he stood there and figured out how his Special Forces were going to go into the camp, take out the nazis, and rescue the Jews. "Just bomb 'em! It worked for Eye-rack!"

Next, after having to endure the idea of a "teary-eyed" Chimpy, we see MommySister Lecondel step in to clarify to (I'm sure) dumbfounded reporters that, of course! duh! he meant bomb the train tracks, NOT the actual camp! Of course! He would never bomb innocent civilians!

I'm sure Chimpy and Condi had a very meaningful policy discussion over whether they would bomb innocent Jews who'd already been held captive, starved, and worked almost to their deaths by the Third Reich. Then, after these leaders of the Fourth Reich settled that policy point, I'm guessing they tried to decide whether to sign the Treaty of Versailles... you know, it's just. so. COMPLEX!

I love the idea of Chimpy calling any decision "complex." Isn't EVERY decision "complex" to a booze-and-cocaine-fried guy who doesn't have two brain cells left to rub together? I picture him standing in front of the fridge in the White House at night: "Uh--Pickles? Hey! Ah'm trying to decide whether Ah want ice cream or cookies fer dessert--it's just so complex! Ah shore wish Turdblossom wuz here to help! Hey you, Condi, sister! Come on over here, Brown Sugar, and help me decide 'cause Ah'm the decider!"

Just look at the "journalism" happening in this excerpt, though -- "then the president delivered his verdict." Either Aron Heller's got one wicked sense of humor, or he's a fucking idiot. Almost every treatment I saw talked about how he was "admitting US error" or whatever. As if figuring out that the nazis were doing some evil shit, fifty-plus years after the fact, makes him a fucking genius? You make the call. I need to go be sick now.