Friday, October 03, 2008

The things I do for this blog...

Somehow I made it all the way through the Biden/Palin debate, despite my absolute disgust at Moose Alaska's Folksy-Fest 2008.

This time around, I present the debate done, as they say, "by the numbers!"

Palin's little ditties:
-gigantic Avon flag pin: 1 (no idea what that little bar above it was--anyone?)
-"darn right!": 2
-"kind-of": 3
-"heckuva": 3
-"hungry markets": 2
-"nukular": lost count after eleventy-gajillion
-"you guys": 3
-"maverick": got hysterical deafness somewhere around 15 million
-"doggone it": 1 (good lord)
-"And God bless her, her reward is in heaven!": are you fucking kidding me?
-times Palin answered the questions Ifill asked her instead of reciting her canned answers: 1 (NO GAY MARRIAGE!)
-times Palin counted herself and her stupid "diverse" family of hicks among the "middle class": lost count after 2,309
-"-g" endings of words actually enunciated: 2
-eye winks, for pete's sake!: THREE! (thank you, Sorghum Crow) Does she have a tic or something?
-Reagan quotes/references: 2 (*puke*)
-"shout out"s: 1 -- our national IQ just went down 20 points
-Freudian slips: ONE SWEET ONE! McCain's "the man that we need to leave... LEAD America!"

Now Biden had his countables too:
-"fundamental"/"fundamentally": 40 kabillion (h/t to my gal Niki for picking up that one)
-"same sex marriage": 1!!!! but it was obviously a slip-up, because then he said he didn't agree with it. Asshole.
-gaffes/rambling: ZERO! He was crisp and concise, making clear points and answering all questions! He rocked! I thought he came across as much warmer and more engaging than Obama did in his debate. Nice work!
Is there something in your eye, Freakshow?

and now, DID YOU KNOW?
...that we have "Maliki and Talibani working with us" in the wars? (Palin)
...that drilling for oil can be "safe" and only leaves "tiny footprints"? (who else?)
...that Condi Rice went to Israel and "met with one side or the other" (guess it doesn't matter which) to successfully "forge the peace"?
...that "John McCain knows how to win a war" and "He'll know how to win a war"? um, what war has he ever won?
...that Palin is "thankful that the Constitution gives more power to a vice president"--WTF!? Biden kicked ass on this one, calling Cheney "the most dangerous vice president in history" and calling Cheney's assertion that the VP is also in the legislative branch "a bizarre notion." Right on!

Overall, Palin performed as I figured she would, using canned crap to fill airtime and never really answering any questions. Her appeals to "Joe Sixpack" made me want to throw up only five minutes into the event, but I recovered once Biden began his commanding performance. When he got choked up talking about his son's death--wow. I didn't expect that. Very humanizing. Biden kicked ass, and Palin didn't embarrass herself. I'm sure their side is calling it a win for her. Idiots.


Sorghum Crow said...

At least three winks. Totally creeped me out.

Jess Wundrun said...

The word "Also"

6 kajillionmcgoogle times.

dguzman said...

Crow--I'm glad I missed the others. I'll update!

Jess--I read about that one too!

CDP said...

Biden was awesome. SC is right, too, there were multiple winks. "Energy-producing state" and "energy" alone should have been the drinking game words.

Randal Graves said...

It's definitely a win for their moron side and might be for a chunk of 'undecideds' 'cause folksy, hollow platitudes and bullshit goes farther than actually knowing what the fuck you're talking about.

Yeah, I know what the polls say. I also know Murka generally goes extra dumb in November.

I'm glad I decided to NOT use 'energy' as a drinking game word, I'd have been throwing up by 9h05.

Dad E said...

Palin's grating voice alone caused me to stop listening to her given she was determined not to answer questions she didn't know. She reminded me of an actor that could hear her cue and then deliver her lines.

I still want to know books she tried to censure. I wonder how smoothly she would answer.

Biden rocked. A near perfect performance.

Anonymous said...

If this is the way we're headed, then let's just throw it in now and start having our candidates say things like "what the fuck?"

I mean, if it's all about them sounding like us.....

Anonymous said...

That witch reminds me of one of those annoying characters on Saturday Night Live that had that stupid radio talk show, "Oh sure, yeah, goodtimes, goodtimes."
Her voice surpasses nails being scratched on a chaulkboard or a fork on a china plate-(cringe!!!!)

Anonymous said...

I was dissapointed with Joe Biden's abysmal performance. He was caught in at least a dozen factual errors. He offfended a few people over his vetting of Justices over Judicial Philosophy. He did dot defend himself when he was quoted in statements that were critical of Obama. He had the dour personality of stale vinegar. In many ways, he seemed even older and more out of touch than McCain himself. By comparison, Palin was a Classical Bra-Burning Liberated Woman.

I think that Biden, already proven a flop from his many previous runs at the Presidency, should be replaced by someone more energetic, more in touch, and more vibrant. Hillary Clinton and John Edwards come to mind. Frankly, Obama could not have done any worse with the selection of his VP. He's have been better off with Zell Miller, Joe Lieberman, or even the deceased George Wallace.

If Obama loses, it will be Biden's Fault!

Anonymous said...

But she's sooo perky! LOL. She was abysmal in every way that counts. Joe was great I thought, he never once talked down, and he got in some terrific zingers. He's the only one who got a laugh and applause during the debate!

dguzman said...

CDP--oh man, yeah--she said "energy-producing state" like she had something to do with it.

Randal--I'm getting the bad feeling that we're about to get robbed--again.

Dad E--me too, on all counts.

DCup--no kidding! Can you imagine that yokel, representing our nation abroad? No one will even be able to understand her.

Anon #1--what's with the anon? Show yourself, dear! You're right about that voice--it's horrific.

Anon #2--uh--okay... I think you're wrong (and suspect you may be joking if you're bringing up weirdos like Zell Miller or dead guys like Wallace), but okay.

Feather--I thought so too--I thought he was much warmer than Obama.