Thursday, December 06, 2007

Holy shit, W's gone completely batshit crazy. Why all the scat in that lede? Because according to Carver, a diarist at Kos, Chimpy's got some very crazy-ass "security precautions" for (get this) his feces. Here's the original link to Daily Kos, courtesy of brilliant commenter The Cunning Runt at I Can't Believe It's Not a Democracy!

You'll remember the hilarity that ensued when The Smoking Gun got a hold of Cheney's pre-hotel-stay checklist, which included TVs set on Fox "News" Channel, Diet Sprite, and thermostats on 68 degrees? Well, we now have word of Chimpy's freakshow demands.

Somehow, the Austrian newspapers got a hold of W's protocols when Chimpy last went to Vienna (no doubt he asked for some of those yummy little sausages everywhere he went). Seems they have some "security" personnel in charge of collecting McStagger's feces and urine. Yes, the doody that comes out of his bu-bu (I don't know whether they collect that which comes out of his mouth), and the wee that comes out of his wee-wee.

He also has people who test his food for toxins, using certain chemicals (according to the story). Paranoid much, Chimpy?

Plenty of people are commenting on this -er-situation, including a hilarious one by my bloggy hero Distributorcap asking whether they capture W's farts in a jar (pure gold, that one). But what I want to know is this:

What are Cheney's poop and piss (and God knows what other bodily emanations) protocols?

The mind reels...

10 comments:

Sorghum Crow said...

Remember Cheney travels in an airstream trailer inside an airforce transport.

dguzman said...

Gee, Crow--I would've guessed hyperbaric chamber. Or coffin.

FranIAm said...

He is so full of shit, the possibilities are endless!

dguzman said...

Oh gosh, I told some people about this issue, and first no one believed it. Then one of them began defending the food-tasting, because omg he's the most powerful man in the world, anyone could try to poison him, etc.! So I said, "where do you think he's eating, McDonald's? You don't think he's eating specially prepared food that's been made under the watchful eyes of Secret Service agents? Gimme a break!" But she kept on arguing that it would be "easy" for someone to slip something in his food.

From her mouth to God's ears, as they say! We could only BE so lucky!

TomCat said...

I have a better solution for both Bush and Cheney... BIG corks!! :-)

dguzman said...

Tomcat, then even MORE shit would have to come out of their mouths.

vikkitikkitavi said...

WTF????

Randal Graves said...

See everyone, this is what happens when you let paranoid children run things. No offense to the legitimately paranoid children of the world, like all those in Iraq who we bombed the fuck out of.

Wonder of Darth calls his transport the Spruce Goose.

TomCat said...

What if we cork both ends? ;-)

fillip said...

I think it's Bush's psychotropic medications, which I suspect he is on, but doesn't want folks to know about.