Friday, April 11, 2008

Cuss-o-Meter Wars!

There were some pretty hilarious comments and even some trash-talking on that last Cuss-o-Meter post, so I decided to be a lazy blogger (like someone else I know) and let you play amongst yourselves!

First, I must tell you that I plugged my bloggy into the meter again and got an improved score--though the page did not load correctly so I just got this screen capture--I'm up to 52.9!


561% MORE!


That's not even close to Jess Wundrun's just plain stupefying 69.3%. Yo, that Jess got skee-ulz.

So let's look at a few of your comments:

First, fellow lady-lover, native Texan, and Princess Sparkle Pony-worshipper KarenZipdrive tossed her chip into the ante:

If I knew how to install one of those fucking meters, I'd kick all y'alls' butts.
Damned righteous, complete with a pluralized "y'all," which only Texans are allowed to use, BTW. Then of all the people to come in and taunt me while I'm down, who else but Necco-Wafer-lover CDP's gotta throw down:


Damn, I thought yours was pretty fucking high, too, but JW is kicking your bird-watching ass. That shit is messed up. Son of a bitch.
OK, now try it again. Assuming comments are included, I might have helped your score. You're welcome)
And she didn't limit her jibbah-jabbah to me, oh no; after The Divine Democrat commented:

Hey, how do I get my cuss-o-meter score? I have no doubt, I could melt the ##&%# down! Of course, I would need to redeem myself in the confessional afterwards, but it would be fun to see if I could get that sucker to smoke.
CDP even let Nunly have some:

Mary Ellen--if you're bleeping yourself in other people's comment threads, then I have serious doubts that you can, in fact, bring it.

Day-um. So it's like that now. In her defense, Nunly did offer a feeble "you should hear me!" retort, but the damage was done.

I decided, therefore, to take the cussing into my own hands; I plugged-in and screen-captured the lot of you!

Oh Flying Nunly, how dost thy roll?


Ah, a respectable 29.3! Nice work -- especially for a nun! Now Father Sheehy says to do ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and an Act of Contrition, Sister.

And the Parenthetical CDP herself?
WHOA! Rejected! Less than 20%! Tsk, tsk! Better start polishing off those F-bombs and representin', mah girl.


And my Texas buddy Zipdrive:

Yeesh. Zip, give it a little spice, will ya?

Just for kicks, I threw in the most wonderful and non-hypocritical christian person I know:

Fran, Fran, Fran! Thou dost practice what thou dost preach! Though I will say I expected some of her rants on Chimpy to have earned her at least a 4.8. Vaya con Dios, mi amiga!

So--how do you roll? Check yourself. (Though I'll tell you that the meter's been a little cranky about loading properly today. Maybe it's just me, though.)

19 comments:

TomCat said...

Why DG, you little cusser!! ;-)

Liberality said...

hi, just stopping by to say I've blogrolled you. oh, and mine came out to 0% as well so I thought that was totally bullshit.

FranIAm said...

I know - is that not hilarious?

My fucking blog where shitstorms of comment clusterflucks fly and I get nuthin'!!!

Hahahahaha.

Distributorcap said...

i dont fucking curse!
eveh!

karenzipdrove said...

Okay, my score was pure bullshit.
I dunno, maybe I should change it from "Pulp Friction" to "Fuck You, You Fucking Fucks!"

Nah. That meter is busted.

Randal Graves said...

What the fuck! I'm still at zero. I really have to stop posting all that crappy poetry or at least at some swearing to the proceedings. No, that would take effort. Fuck it.

Randal Graves said...

add, not at. Fuck, that wasn't lazy!

Matty Boy said...

Do you cuss like this on the other blog, or would that scare the birds?

TomCat said...

DG, there's a surprise for you at PP: today's 2nd post.

Middle Ditch said...

Congratulations with your E award from Tomcat

libhom said...

I really need to cuss more on my damned blog.

dguzman said...

Tomcat--*blush*

Liberality--cool! I'll add you to mine as well; I've always loved your comments on other sites, so I'm glad I finally made it over to your blog.

Fran--I kinda couldn't believe it when yours came out zero. I mean, you have let fly with some blue language when discussing Chimpy! The thing must be broken.

Dcap--right! Neither do I, those assholes!

Zip--Fuckin' A, that thing's busted!

Randal--take heart, my friend. It must've gotten confused by all the high-toned classical music and stuff!

Matty--I think it would scare some of the birders, actually! Plus on that blog, I allow my nature-happy to rule, so no need to curse!

Tomcat--oh my gosh! Thanks!

Middle Ditch and Libhom--welcome to my damned blog! Isn't it funny how we're all trying to cuss just as much as possible? My rating is probably through the roof now! (although still not as high as that potty-mouth Jess Wundrun, I bet!)

Sorghum Crow said...

F*ck all y'all.
5.4 percent at my store. The intent is there but not the execution.
This from the grandson of a woman who made her daughters say "boy cow" instead of "bull".

CDP said...

Listen, bunny woman, that score is about as valid as the 2000 election results. Now I might have to show you some cussin'. (And Fran really fucking surprised me, too, I thought she'd be at LEAST in the fucking 40s)

Jess Wundrun said...

Ha ha! I am the atomic dropping, figure four leglock flying arm scissors deliverer of the cussing blog world.

I'd like to thank my dad who once used 56 totally different swear words at a lawn mower that wasn't working, but I think the thanks has to go to my post about McStain calling his wife a c#nt.

word.

dguzman said...

Sorghum Crow--you poor dear; you started out in the negatives with "boy cow" so you'll just have to try harder to get that score into the healthy 30s or 40s.

CDP--you crack me up: "listen, bunny woman" -- hee hee hee! Hey, I encourage you to try to outperform Jess "Fuck it all to hell" Wundrun, and I wish you luck!

Jess--you are the champion, my friend.

TomCat said...

Blushing, huh? You look good in red. :-)

Tengrain said...

Woot! Woot!

I'm up to 5.9%, and I owe it all to John McCain!

Regards,

Tengrain

Anonymous said...

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