Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Terror alert!

In terror news today, take a peek at these horrifying photos, from someone's completely insane idea of a calendar called "Pretty in Mink: Conservative Leading Ladies." How fitting--dead animals on dead animals.
h/t to Princess Sparkle Pony, who OF COURSE had the goods first.
Let's take a look at a few of these "ladies" wearing their furry carcasses:
The caption for Lady JawsWiredShut talks about her best-sellers and punditry, and the fact that this coat is from "her personal wardrobe." Of course it is. Other "personal wardrobe" items include a studded leather collar (ick!) and ass-less chaps, which she was asked not to wear to the photo shoot.

On the right (ha ha), we have the most terrifying terror of them all, modeling her rock-fucking-stupid-deer-in-headlights look. GOD she makes me ill. Her stupid caption calls her, of ALL things, a "blogger, columnist, author, pundit, wife and mother who got her start as a newspaper journalist in 1992." BLOGGER is first? I thought all we bloggers were ruining the world and everything in it!! WTF? Bitch is just bitter because her grandpa lost the presidential race, I guess.

Next, we have two faces that could stop a clock:


Holy sharp-featured harpies, Batman. I don't even know who these "ladies" are, but my guess is that the one on the left could bring some serious hurt with that beak of hers.

Lastly, a fine contrast:

Veronica Lake-wannabe pollster Kellyanne Conway (who should really use a fucking space between her two first names--that's just annoying) vs. the Eyes-Cast-Downward-Just-As-They-Should-Be Star Parker. Why did the photog make her look like this? Why did the captioner write about her, "A former welfare mother who turned her life around, Star Parker is a champion of personal responsibility"?? Talk about being a tool for the trickle-down, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, but really just stay fucking poor but quit taking welfare Repugs. Like Sarah Palin, who has allowed herself to be a tool of the patriarchy in exchange for... well, for being ridiculed by people who've figured out she's a fucking idiot, this Star Parker person has allowed herself to be a tool of the Reaganaut greedy bloodsuckers of the right. What will she get in return, besides her status as the lone dark-skinned woman in this calendar? I'm shaking my head in pity for her.

And Conway looks positively constipated, rather than the retro-sexy they were obviously going for.

That's your terror alert for today, and today's terror alert level is BLOOD RED--for the slaughtered animals these bitches wore for this photo shoot. As a beautiful and sexy contrast, I give you the other side of the fur fight:

Mee-yow.

12 comments:

Sorghum Crow said...

If fur is so great, why do they pluck their eyebrows and shave their legs and nether regions.
Fur always looks better on the animal that grew it.

enc said...

LOL^^ Sorghum Crow!

This post is chilling/eerie/scary.

I suppose it doesn't surprise me that these women in particular were wearing fur.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Thank goodness it was a woman who wrote this post. If I had written about these twats it would have come off as sexist. And thanks for adding Eva Mendes, grr baby grr.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Couldn't they have posed with a rifle in addition to the fur? They would have been even sexier that way.

vikkitikkitavi said...

"Holy sharp-featured harpies, Batman."

Girl, you read my mind.

This calendar is frightening. Very Mommy Dearest.

Some Guy said...

MY EYES!! Make it stop!

Randal Graves said...

I'd rather Eva Mendes go naked as well, but I'm not sure even her deliciousness can overcome the horror of what you wrote concerning Lady JawsWiredShut, who I think appeared in more than one James Bond film. Why do you hate us? Post another pic of Eva and all is forgiven. ;-)

FranIAm said...

Arrrrrrrrgggggggggggg--- fur, those women, what must we endure?????

Karen Zipdrive said...

They all look like drag queen hookers to me.
Especially Ann Come on My Face Coulter and Michelle Love you Longtime Malkin.

Sue J said...

Holy sharp-featured harpies, Batman.

excellent!

Pissed in NYC said...

Not you, Dr. Monkey. You are a known quantity, and it would be cool. As for the republican posers....enough to turn anyone off of women. Blech.

And Karen gets a big point.

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