Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Seen at work

I've decided to start a new series here on the bloggy: "Seen at Work." The place where I work is filled with strange artwork, odd decorations, inane instructional postings, and other such noteworthy items, and I wouldn't want to be selfish and keep all these sights (and sounds) to myself. Besides, there's no one at my work who would appreciate these things like you would; everyone else just seems to ignore these things. I've decided that Texans, at least the San Antonio variety, are weird and not very observant.

I'm dying to hear your comments, if only to help me decide whether I'm the only one who thinks this shit is strange.

I'll kick the new series off with a double feature.

First, I present this item (rather a common one down here in San Antonio, I've noticed), found in the restrooms:I've seen these before from time to time in other cities in which I've lived, but it seems like every public restroom in San Antonio has these. Do they really protect you from anything, besides the knowledge that unless you use them, you're placing your bare buttocks on the exact same surface that lots of other people do? (If you think about that for even a second, you just might start carrying a box of these around with you.)

I keep wondering if they protect one from the errant herpes sore or something. Maybe I'm just being obtuse; any public health officials want to share? My mom always told us to lay triple thicknesses of TP on the seat before using a public toilet, but these things are really thin!

Now, OF COURSE I use them whenever I use the restroom, though I always rip the inner circle loose so I don't make splashy sounds.... You know what I'm talking about. But really--do they protect you from anything?

Next, in the "Art" category:I posted this horror on my birdy blog yesterday and so far, all the commenters have ignored it. I trust you guys will find the words that must've escaped my bird-loving pals. I call this one "My child has terrifying hallucinations, and sometimes he commits them to paper."

In the coming days, you'll see more photos of the "art" from my building; there must've been a sale at the local sanitarium or detox ward.


Sorghum Crow said...

Nice art. What drug causes that effect?

pissed in NYC said...

Oh my. Still, it's better than the statement of values posters that they put up at my place. You know, those inane posters saying things like "'s what makes us stronger." the only good thing is that they are universally hated.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I do love the sanitized (pardon the pun) name - "health guards". What's wrong with "bum protectors"?

If that art is indicative of what people at your work see every day, I am surprised that more people have not gouged out their own eyeballs.

CDP said...

We have demotivational posters on the wall here. Framed and everything.

Randal Graves said...

Are you sure a child painted that? I think someone swallowed one too many Health Gards.

dguzman said...

Sorghum Crow--I don't know, but I'm sure it's illegal.

PiNY--oh man, I hate those. But we have our own "motivational" posters. More to come!

Barbara--pee pee papers? That one makes me wanna throw up. It's definitely the worst.

CDP--so do we. We just call them "art."


enc said...

Who knows if the gaskets do anything but make us all feel emotionally better about sitting down, and emotionally worse about wasting (more) paper. They're a mystery to me.

That art is mental. I think I'd be scared to look at that every day! :?

Anonymous said...

About those toilet thingies... my architect friend says when they're drawing blueprints, architects always call those things CHDs (Cowboy Hat Dispensers) for short. Toilet paper dispensers are known as AGs, as in "I've got to pencil in those 500 AGs for Children's Hospital before lunch or I'm screwed."

pissed in NYC said...

what gets me about the motivational posters is that everyone thinks they are bullshit. Hell, even the crazy people in my office--and we have more than a handful--thought they were insulting. I work in New York fucking City, for god's sake.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I'm convinced that anyone who works at an office has to be nuts. If they aren't nuts when they are hired, once they start work they will soon be nuts.

Distributorcap said...

at least you have art to look at - all i hve is black and white and gray and tv that blasts the awful joe scarborough

Pissed in NYC said...

Karen: Many of the people in my former department came to the office nuts already. The rest of us started to wonder what was wrong with us that we worked with them. Still, at least we recognize the I think we are still sane.

Matty Boy said...

The best use I have found for ass gaskets is when the TP dispenser is empty. Emergency TP in really inconvenient packages!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I rather like that second painting.

Tengrain said...

We always called those sanitation thingies Ronald Reagan Party Hats, but California is always a little different.

At a company where I worked, there was an infamous hallway where everyone put an inspirational poster of the doors of their offices. But one time, it was magic: they all had the same poster of a kitty dangling at the end of a rope with the message, "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on!"

At lunchtime when all those doors would fly open is was like watching a kitty dance production by Busby Berkeley.