Friday, June 26, 2009

R.I.P, Michael Jackson--Questions edition

How does this happen?


How does one make millions over a career, but still be $400 million in debt?


What was your favorite Michael song, either with the Jackson 5 or solo?



Do you think his cause of death will be ruled as "natural causes" or one of those "accidental overdoses" that seems to happen so often with celebs?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Infidelity vs. criminality

So yet another repug has been outed as a mere human being with sex on his mind.

Seems a lot of these "family values" spouters sure do like to screw around, either with the ladies or the pages in their office or whatever.

But I couldn't help but think, as I listened to Sanford's press confo cuts on NPR yesterday afternoon, that I really didn't give a shit about his apologies or his tears or his sexy funtimes with Maria in Argentina. I didn't even give a shit that he lied about his whereabouts and told people he was hiking. Let's face it: Cheaters ALWAYS lie about it; if you were a cheater, you'd lie too. It's human nature to want to stay out of trouble. Like when I was a kid, and I blamed everything on my big brother. Sometimes my guilt over having taken apart Mommy's alarm clock, or having left the iron on the arm of the couch and burned a big brown iron-shape into the upholstery, or going to the video arcade instead of going to mass--well, my guilt was so strong that sometimes that all Mommy had to say was "Delia?" before I'd spit out a lie: "I didn't do it! Maybe it was Ricardo!" It was like a knee-jerk reflex, impossible for my little guilty mind to control.

But this stuff? This affair crap? Just like I didn't give a shit about Bill and his sexy cigartimes with Monica Lewinsky, I don't give a shit about Mr Perfect and his Argentina mistress.

Oh, it's hilarious enough to hear about another picture-perfect repug proving that he's just another slimeball cheating on his wife; I mean, that's always good comedy. But did I want to listen to him apologizing to all the people he'd "failed" and "disappointed" and all that? Did I want to hear about his crying back in Argentina and his crying here? Do I want to hear all the blowhards on TV crying about how betrayed they feel?

Nope.

It all just seemed maudlin and forced. It was a big drama show, staged for the media, just because he's a political figure. If he weren't the governor, no one outside his family and maybe his church community would care about whether he was hiking a trail or lying and cheating. I don't care to hear Fat-Tush Limpdick or anyone pontificate on this guy's lack of moral fiber, betrayal of the people, blah blah blah.

What I DO care about is this: this is the same guy who's been a poster boy for the "family values" reich-wing wacko contingent. Back in the 1990s, he was calling for Clinton's resignation after the Lewinsky crap. He's been playing Mr. Family Man with his perfect little white family, posing for all the photos and positioning himself as a presidential contender. If it weren't for this hypocrisy, I would give him a pass, just like I gave Bill. Anyone can make a mistake.

But Mr. Perfect is, in actuality, Mr. Thieving Scumbag. Using state funds to get to Argentina for his sexy fun time--THAT I care about.

And for THAT, and that alone, the guy should resign. And he should go to jail. That's theft, asshole. There's no criminal charge for fucking another woman besides your wife, so I don't care about that--but there sure is a law for using the state's money to do it.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Some new ways to deny global warming

More of that pesky "truth" crap was released about how badly we're fucking up the planet with our CO2 and pollution. To this I say, "Truth, Schmuth!" Here are some handy ways to continue to deny this whole "reality" trip:

1. Mother Earth is going through menopause; hence, the hot flashes.
2. Did anyone ever think that the sun, NOT the earth, just might be getting hotter?
3. Science is for geeks and pussies.

You can thank me later, from your oceanside home in Kansas.

Friday, June 12, 2009

If you haven't seen this site...

...you should.


What my text would say:
Is there anyone in the world who doesn't know what "the coffee just kicked in" means?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Yay, a non-political post!

Sometimes I just have to completely tune out the politics and the news and the idiocy. That's when I do a movie post.

About a million years ago, Dr. Monkey did a list of what he considered to be the best movies made each year since he’d been born. It was a great list, and I decided (and commented) that I would do a similar post for myself. And hey! It’s only taken me a whole freakin’ year to compile the list!

Here are my favorite movies, by year, for every year since the year I was born. Just to bore you to death, I've added the other movies made that year that were also good ones in my opinion.

Oh and one more thing -- I didn't italicize any of the titles because I'm too lazy. Fuck the italics! Anarchy! Anarchy!

Ahem.

Sorry. Here's the list:

1964: My Fair Lady – I didn’t know until a few years ago that the role of Eliza had been originated on Broadway by Julie Andrews, whom I love love love. I knew Audrey Hepburn wasn’t singing right from the beginning, though. I still love this movie, however, especially when Mrs. Higgins chastises her son Henry and Colonel Pickering for being “a pretty pair of babies playing with your live doll.” Excellent. Finalists: Ensign Pulver, Father Goose, Goldfinger, Fistful of Dollars, The Three Lives of Thomasina -- all childhood favorites.

1965: This one was easy – Dr. Zhivago, hands down. Sorry to The Sound of Music and Julie Andrews. (Love you!)

1966: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly – I loves me some Clint Eastwood, and this is a great one. “Hey Blondie! Hey Blondie!” Finalists: The Blue Max, Batman, A Man Called Flintstone, Munster Go Home!, What’s Up Tiger Lily?

1967: To Sir, With Love – a sentimental favorite, and I had a little-girl crush on the girl that played Pamela (the one with the crush on Sir). Finalists: In the Heat of the Night, Cool Hand Luke, Valley of the Dolls (hilariously bad)

1968: Funny Girl – an amazing musical and acting performance for a very young Barbra. Finalists: The Odd Couple (remember how Jack Lemmon’s Felix did the allergy-throat “haaa! haaa!”? Priceless.)

1969: True Grit. I didn’t see Butch Cassidy, so that one didn’t win. Plus hearing “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head” always makes me carsick.

1970: Little Big Man – “Come and lay on my soft furs!” I really liked MASH too, but Little Big Man is still one of my favorite movies to watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

1971: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – still one of my favorite movies and books. Just plain hilarious and well done. Finalists: Dirty Harry, Fiddler on the Roof (especially the bottle dance at the wedding and the Grandma dream sequence), and Man in the Wilderness. I didn’t see the universally recognized greats of this year, The French Connection and A Clockwork Orange.

1972: The Godfather – I’d never seen a movie like this one. Amazingly violent, moving, and terrifying. Finalists: Deliverance (talk about terrifying), Jeremiah Johnson (still a fave), What’s Up, Doc? (pure greatness).

1973: The Sting – This was the toughest year for me. I loved Paper Moon, High Plains Drifter, Badlands, Serpico, and Papillon, but The Sting had such great music.

1974: Where the Lilies Bloom – if you’ve never seen/heard of this one, GET IT. Finalists: The Godfather Part 2, Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (“shit-kicking, shit-kicking, shit-kicking!”), Animals Are Beautiful People (a documentary), Young Frankenstein, Uptown Saturday Night.

1975: Jaws – an easy one, and yes—I’m still afraid to swim at the beach. But there were other greats that year: Barry Lyndon (some people find it boring, but I love it), Funny Lady, Love and Death (a GREAT Woody Allen movie), Monty Python and the Holy Grail (pure gold). I never saw all of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or The Sunshine Boys, but I’m sure they’re great.

1976: Rocky – yo Adrian! Finalists: The Bad News Bears (sweet), Bugsy Malone,d Futureworld (scared the pee out of a young me), Midway, Murder by Death (a classic!), The Omen (see above re: pee).

1977: Star Wars – how could anyone anywhere in America disagree? This movie made me want to be Luke Skywalker, complete with utility belt and hot Princess Leia to kiss. Finalists: High Anxiety, Close Encounters of the Third Kind

1978: Alien – holy moly, was I terrified. Finalists: The Inlaws (“Serpentine, Sheldon, serpentine!”), Escape from Alcatraz, Heaven Can Wait, Kramer vs. Kramer, Breaking Away, My Brilliant Career, Superman, Being There. Many would pick Apocalypse Now but I’ve never seen it.

1979: Norma Rae – still an amazing performance by Sally Field. I also liked North Dallas Forty and Nosferatu the Vampyre (with an incredibly creepy Klaus Kinski).

1980: The Empire Strikes Back – what a sequel. Other faves: Gloria (“I’m the man! I’M the man!” and Gena Rowlands), The Gods Must Be Crazy, Nine to Five, Superman II, Flash Gordon (hilariously bad), and Private Benjamin (“I wanna wear my sandals! I wanna have lunch!”)

1981: Raiders of the Lost Ark – a great adventure movie. Of course, Excalibur was wonderful, as were Chariots of Fire, Mommie Dearest, and the classic Zorro the Gay Blade.

1982: Bladerunner – by now, my Harrison Ford love knew no bounds. I still had no clue about the whole “lesbian” thing. Tron was also a big fave, as I was a complete geek at this point in my life. I never got what was sooooo great about Fast Times at Ridgemont High, though I liked it. Night Shift was funny, until I realized how incredibly sexist-piggish it was.

1983: The Big Chill – this was my senior year in high school and an amazing year for movies. I could’ve picked any of these: Cross Creek, Flashdance, Entre Nous, Educating Rita, Trading Places, Mr. Mom, Yentl, Scarface, Valley Girl, The Year of Living Dangerously – all greats in my book, for various reasons.

1984: The Terminator – a true classic. I love how wimpy Linda Hamilton looks in this one, especially compared to the powerhouse hottie she’d become in the second movie. “I’m at the Tech Noir!” Finalists: Romancing the Stone, Amadeus, American Dreamer, Karate Kid (hee hee!), Dune, Purple Rain (one of the worst-acted movies ever, in every single role! That takes skill!), Sixteen Candles, A Passage to India, Beverly Hills Cop (one of my mom’s favorite movies).

1985: Murphy’s Romance – you’re probably saying, “huh?” This movie featured wonderfully understated and underrated performances by Sally Field and James Garner. Other good ones: Back to the Future, Fandango, Real Genius, Out of Africa, Witness, Mask, The Breakfast Club

1986: Aliens – again, a sequel that topped the original (just like with Empire Strikes Back, Terminator 2, Godfather II, and Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers). This movie was scarier and better than the original, with Sigourney Weaver really developing her uber-mother-badass-ness. Finalists: Hannah and Her Sisters (quite possibly Woody’s last funny movie), Heartbreak Ridge (underrated!), Ruthless People.

1987: Moonstruck – this movie gets better every time I see it. So many great lines and scenes! Finalists: The Princess Bride, Wall Street, Baby Boom

1988: Scrooged – Bill Murray at his best, up to that point. He would only get better later. Other great movies: Stand and Deliver, Dangerous Liaisons, Rainman.

1989: When Harry Met Sally – I used to call this my favorite movie. Now I don’t, but only because the Lord of the Rings trilogy just pretty much knocked everything else out. Finalists: Field of Dreams, Batman, The Little Mermaid (shut up! I like it!), Dead Calm, Roger and Me, Chances Are (shut up again! I love Cybill Sheppard!), Miss Firecracker (“Swoop! Swoop!”)

1990: Goodfellas – this movie got everything right. Finalists: Dances with Wolves, Dick Tracy, Pretty Woman (horrible but I still like it), Misery, Tremors (hilarious).

1991: The Silence of the Lambs – followed closely by Terminator 2. It was almost a tie, but Jody Foster’s hot. Other faves: The Commitments, JFK, Backdraft, New Jack City, Thelma and Louise (painful to watch), LA Story.

1992: Unforgiven – Clint, still making movie gold. Finalists: The Bodyguard (I just liked the music, okay?), A League of Their Own, Malcolm X, The Crying Game, Reservoir Dogs (amazing), White Men Can’t Jump (just funny escapism), Far and Away (Nicole Kidman at her hottest).

1993: Tombstone – Val Kilmer made this one with his portrayal of Doc Holliday. I never get tired of watching it. Finalists: Groundhog Day (another Murray classic), The Pelican Brief (I liked Julia Roberts back then), Sleepless in Seattle (I’m a sap, okay?), Jurassic Park (just for the dinos), Schindler’s List, Dave.

1994: The Shawshank Redemption. Did any other movies even get made this year? Who cares – this movie is pure greatness.

1995: Babe – this movie still makes me cry. Other favorites were The American President (I wish we could have a president like him!), Apollo 13.

1996: Fargo – easy. I also loved Long Kiss Goodnight with Geena Davis playing the tallest action heroine ever.

1997: Jackie Brown – pure perfection. Finalists: As Good as it Gets, Good Will Hunting, Contact (Jody = hawt), Donnie Brasco.

1998: Life Is Beautiful – a sweet sweet film. I also loved Rush Hour, Deep Impact (the OTHER asteroid movie, with a smokin’ hawt Tia Leoni), X-Files: Fight the Future (Scully = hawt). Notice how the pickin’s are getting slim? They just didn’t make many great movies in the late 90s, in my opinion. At least not that I saw.

1999: The Talented Mr. Ripley – Matt Damon’s best performance. Other big faves: Fight Club, The Sixth Sense, The Matrix (only because of the filming techniques, not Keanu’s “acting”).

2000: Cast Away – man, this movie makes me sad. I also liked Erin Brockovich and Unbreakable. Couldn’t find another movie made this year that I liked. Wow.

2001: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – is that tiny little Harry just the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen? Yes he is.

2002: Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – my favorite of the Ring trilogy, although Theodin makes me yell at the TV because he’s such a freakin’ wimp. The first Bourne movie, The Bourne Identity, was also great.

2003: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – here’s how that conversation on the lava-covered mountainside of Mt Doom would’ve gone had it been me instead of Samwise with Frodo:
Frodo: “I’m glad you’re with me, Sam, here at the end of all things.”
Me: “Don’t worry, Frodo. I’m not gonna tell everyone about how you went all evil and tried to keep the ring. I won’t tell everyone how Gollum had to bite your freakin’ finger off just to get the ring. Just sayin’.”
This was a tough year, finally, after so many crappy years. Other finalists: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (Keira Knightley = hawt), Bad Santa (effing hilarious), Calendar Girls, Finding Nemo, Kill Bill Vol 1, Lost in Translation, Monster, Under the Tuscan Sun (Diane Lane = hawt).

2004: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – probably my favorite Harry Potter movie to date, but another tough call with Kill Bill Vol 2, Fahrenheit 9/11, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and The Bourne Supremacy making it a great year.

2005: Pride and Prejudice – I love the book, I love the movie, I love Keira Knightley. Finalists: HP and the Goblet of Fire; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Crash; Capote; Transamerica; The Constant Gardener; Batman Begins; Good Night, and Good Luck; Syriana. Finally, Hollywood (and indie films) started getting it right again.

2006: Little Miss Sunshine – if you haven’t seen this one, please do so. Every single actor in this film was amazing. Other good ones: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, V for Vendetta, Inside Man, The Devil Wears Prada, Eight Below (shut up! It was sad and uplifting!), The Queen, The Good Shepherd.

2007: No Country for Old Men – easy call. Still, some good stuff this year too: Breach, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (I don’t know why I loved these movies; I just did!--probably just Keira), American Gangster, Zodiac, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (great casting, terrible adaption), Atonement (so sad!), The Bourne Ultimatum.

2008: The Dark Knight – not that great a year for movies, in my opinion. I mean, what are you gonna pick – Baby Mama? Sure it was funny, but do you remember anything besides the general hilariousness? Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull –holy crap, Harrison – give it up. You look like a corpse. Do you need money that badly? Just say no! Burn After Reading was okay, with a hilariously goofy performance by Brad Pitt of all people, but it wasn’t the Coen’s best work.

2009: I don’t even think I’ve seen a new movie this year. I’m waiting on the edge of my seat for the sixth Harry Potter movie, which I just KNOW is going to be effing GREATNESS.

I need to lie down... bring me some smelling salts.

Sometimes, I just start smiling, thinking about how grateful I am that we managed to elect Barack Obama instead of the old geezer and the Alaskan freakshow. I think, "Boy, Americans aren't so crazy and dumb after all!"

Then I wake up.

You wanna see some crazy? You wanna see some dumb? Just check out these Princess Sparkle Pony posts, featuring the unedited comments of everyday Americans. By the time you're done, I guarantee you'll feel like you've just gone 15 rounds with an in-his-prime Muhammad Ali.

Sarah Palin's toenails
White Supremacist killer in the Holocaust Museum
More on the Holocaust Museum killer

To think these people work, vote, operate heavy machinery, walk among us, etc. It's truly frightening.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Uh oh...

If Princess Sparkle Pony is right about "frowny sucked-in-lips face" being a bad sign, or as the Princess says, "associated with guilt, embarrassment, acknowledgment of stupidity, etc."--I think Obama's in trouble. This is what the front page at Talking Points Memo looks like:
Oy vey.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Cleansing duck post

Surrounded by activity, I am all still.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Some more thoughts and reactions--UPDATED

President Obama has declared June "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month." Pretty cool, eh? I can't imagine any other president doing this--even Bill Clinton wimped out all the time when it came to teh gay, so I'm glad Obama has recognized that he won't burst into flames if he says "gay" or "lesbian." That moment during his inaugural address when he said those words--that still gives me chills when I think about it.

You can read the full text of his proclamation here. I like this line: "I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists."

Are Americans ready "to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists" yet? Are we even ABLE to do this? Every time I think we're making progress, a Prop 8 or a "Sotomayor's a racist!" or something like that will happen, and I realize we're sooooooo far from embodying the vision of Dr. King when he talked about people being judged by the content of their character. And that makes me sad.

I think that maybe if more of us started turning this whole racial discussion around--talking about it whenever ANYONE is nominated for something, the way I did in this post from the other day--then MAYBE people will see how stupid the whole idea is. Imagine reading something like this:


Roberts nomination: Is it about ethnicity?
John Roberts could be the latest white man to serve on the Supreme Court. And as we learn more about him, the more questions centered on his ethnic background abound. Was he chosen partly because of his white origins? Does he consider race in his rulings? Are we focusing too much on his ethnicity and not enough on his judicial history?

Check out the original post for an explanation. I'd like your take on it. I think it kinda got buried by Iron Chef talk, though, so if you haven't read it, please do and comment either here or there.

- - - - -

If you don't listen to NPR (I listen for as long as I can stand it, then I always hear something that makes me hit another station's button), you haven't been listening to the amazingly stupid discussion about the Sotomayor nomination to the SCOTUS, and that one quote wherein she actually TOOK PRIDE in being a "wise Latina." God forbid! The nerve!

I read a great guest-post on Echidne's blog; the only way I can figure out how to link to it is to link to all the posts from that day (May 31, my mommy's birthday!). It's the second post down. A great great post, that one--all about the idiocy of isolating one sentence and pinning everything on it -- then turning that tactic around on the idiots who are doing it to try to derail Sotomayor's nomination.

Speaking of NPR, my GOD -- it gets worse every day. Be sure to check out NPR Check, linked in my sidebar, if you want to read about how bad it's gotten.

- - - - -

Just saw a link to a completely amazing story that is not getting adequate coverage in the MSM: actual clergy--baptists, even!--saying that they support equal marriage rights! h/t to Sue J for the link and for bringing the story to my attention. And no thanks to the many stupid media outlets that are ignoring/underreporting the story.

Gay marriage, as I've said before, isn't really my issue, but I abhor the idea of denying people the right to marry whomever they please. Discrimination is just wrong. So anyway, I was having a deep discussion this morning with my girlfriend, and the subject of living together came up -- as in, sometime in the future. We began to talk about my fears, based on past relationships, about how things just always seem to END, no matter how great things start out. It's disheartening, and it's enough to make me have said on many occasions that I'll never live with anyone again.

That said, I began to wonder whether marriage really would make a difference. Maybe the legally binding aspect of it would help when things get tough. Of course, straights are topping the 50% mark on divorces, but still--does marriage make a difference to two people who've vowed to stay together? You married folks out there--does it?

- - - - -

On a brighter note, we have baby ducks in our courtyard, and I don't mean the ducks that PoP regularly invokes. They're so cute and fuzzy, and their little markings are so striking. I'll try to get a photo, to cleanse our mental palates from all the shite that regularly flows in the political realm. We also have baby robins. I love spring!

Monday, June 01, 2009

My thoughts on the Tiller murder

Imagine you were sitting someplace in public, just having a lemonade in the park or listening to the preacher in church, when someone came up to you and killed you. For doing your job.

Dr. George Tiller was killed because he did his job--providing a particular medical service to women -- a perfectly legal medical service, I might add.

Some video from Iron Chef: MEXICAN!

Well, I might as well tell you the results: Matty edged out Anne Marie once again. It was pretty heart-breaking to watch, but that's how it went down. Matty was very gracious in victory, and AM was gracious in defeat -- and a good time was had by all.

NOTE: I realized that I downloaded all my event video from the presentation of the main dishes on through judging and the post-competition interviews onto Matty's laptop and deleted it from my camera... then couldn't copy it all back to upload here! (It was taking like a half hour to upload at Matty's.) So this video will be from the middle of the competition, and I'll have the closing interviews tomorrow most likely. They are compelling--"the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat!"

Both AM and Matty discussed their approach to the Mexican food theme:
video
And some things were better left un-"discussed" (I'm talkin' to you, Nommy).
video

More video tomorrow, I hope.